#I keep rambling and theorizing again by no ones surprise

[daintev]

WHERE ARE SANDERS AND JOCK FROM???

We know they're American, but from what state?

Actually we don't even know what city they work in, we know the tax company is in one at the very least. It could be a fictional city but I wanna know the real life equivalent of where this city would be.

From visuals alone, it could be Pennsylvania? I know there's a river that runs through a city like the one we see in chapter 3. But there's so many other cities like that I just can't tell.

Where Jock and Sanders are from could be anyone's guess, we know Jock's Mum lives somewhat close to the tax companies building considering they could drive there no problem. We have heard their voices before, from the old version of the comic there was a short video made 13-ish years ago. But they didn't really have a distinct accent beyond it being American.

@geezerflakes perhaps, possibly, maybe a gift, a little crumb of info to this question?

I'm real curious and would love to know what guesses anyone else might have :)

[turtlecleric]

Happy late birthday!!

Just wanted to share my grain of thoughts that while people theorized about a possible confrontation in your latest text about Leon/Leo/Reader, all I could think off was Leon finding himself doing this again, like ravaging reader, no matter if we're awake, conscious or not, because... He tasted heaven, and come on. He'd keep wanting more of what he got. He knows it's wrong, that it isn't HIS time-line, his lover, it's just isn't his. But we were, even if just for a night, a few minutes, we were his, and it felt right amidst the wrong. So what if he wanted more? What if he got more? Even if it makes him a terrible person?

And also there's reader, that, not to bash out on our Leo, but he still has a long way to work and learn, and yes, it's a little mean, but wouldn't reader rather keep having those mind-blowing love sessions with someone who actually knows what he's doing?

Me thinks. But whatever I'm just rambling!!

Thank you nonnie!

Ohhhh that would be a dark way to go, wouldn't it? Leon deciding that he's already fucked up beyond repair anyway. And it made him feel good for the first time in a long, long time. Reminded him what it used to feel like, being with you. So he decides to... keep an eye out for more opportunities. Take advantage of those opportunities when they do arise. He's already a terrible person, isn't he? Why not? If it makes the ache in his chest ease for a time and no one finds out or gets hurt... it might be hard for him to stop himself, knowing that, on top of everything else, he's making you feel good, even if you don't remember.

Idk if I'd ever write the reader knowingly cheating, because. Well. I know this may be surprising given what I frequently write, but that just feels so icky, to have the reader do something like that on purpose. It's one thing to have the characters do terrible things. It's another to have the reader do terrible things. I can't explain it well, I suppose 😅

Thanks for the ask! Hope you're well 😊

[thousand-winters]

✨️✍️👓🥳🌻📗

And maybe: 🎁 (I’d like to see more please)

Hi there!!! 😄💕

✨️ Out of the comments you’ve received on your fics, what are two or three of your favorites?

Oh, my god, okay. Out of the top of my head, there's this one I think about every once in a while in So, what was your name again? of this person that said they were at work and went to the bathroom to read the final chapter and I guess it baffled me a little because I was already surprised that people liked that one so much, but then it was a little bit of the... a real person, who was at work, decided to not wait to read this thing I wrote and even went somewhere to have privacy to read it??? Unreal.

Tinglecannon’s comments are always such a delight to read! Those are the kind of comments that make me able to look back at what I wrote when I’m feeling embarrassed or self-conscious. 

In general, I love when people start rambling in the comments, haha, like either pointing out parts they liked or theorizing when it comes to multichapters or just generally talking their heart out, I think it’s very fun! I do treasure all comments tho, I try to answer everything I get because it just makes me so happy to know someone took the time to even just type “<3″. It might take a few seconds, but those are a few seconds they actively chose to dedicate to leaving something and it’s such a nice thing. 

✍️ What’s your ideal writing setup?

Ngl, I had to google this to make sure I got the meaning right.

Okay, I had typed a response but now I see it says "ideal", so that's different. I don't know, as long as somewhere is comfortable and quiet, I think I would be fine? Having a computer that doesn't freeze every once in a while would probably help too.

👓 What helps you focus when you write?

Silence! I do use music as inspiration, but not when I'm actually writing, just during brainstorming and all of that. Knowing I'm not going to get interrupted also helps, so I mostly write at night or early in the morning when everyone else is sleeping.

... If I've been stalling for too long despite having the wish to write, I usually use that one Discord bot that's like "you have 15 minutes to write and then you have to tell me your word count to know how much you wrote". It's in theory to write with other people, but it helps because I just can't disappoint this little bot that has no self awareness to be disappointed in me, can I?

🥳 Why did you start writing fanfic?

For fun! There isn't much more to it, I used to write fanfic and draw little fan comics of the Lord of the Rings for fun with my siblings when I was small. We didn't know fanworks were a thing, but even when I started finally "officially" writing fanfics, it was a lot of "hey, I just want to have some fun here".

🌻 How often do you read your own fics?

Not often at all! Once I've finished and posted something, I do tend to reread it once or twice, but outside of that, I mostly reread what I wrote if someone leaves a comment about this or that part. It's a bit like "really? was it truly good? 😊". It's the validation that breaks the embarrassment askjfhkjsdg

📗 Do you want to write something outside of fanfiction? If so, what about?

Not really. I used to when I was a kid, but honestly, I don't think I have the kind of disposition required, haha. I'm happy writing fanfics, so it's not like something I regret, I would be quite content if I only ever write fics.

I think I wrote a fairy tale once tho? As a gift for a friend, but I didn't keep any copy, so I don't even remember what it was about, it was a LONG time ago.

🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?

I do hope you meant in general and not another piece from the other WIP I shared, because this is from a different one! Apologies if so.

Phillip Wittebane is seeing a ghost. Without meaning to, a single word escapes from his mouth.

“Caleb…”

The boy quiets down a little and his head turns in his direction, eyes still tightly closed, but his hearing already perfectly accustomed to register sound. His ears don’t twitch like he’s observed in some witches, perhaps because they’re not at all like witches’ ears. No, his ears are round. Human.

It seems like God has finally decided to reward his efforts. Maybe he won’t have to get rid of this one, after all.

I’m dying a little bit because I like this one a lot, but I’m prioritizing other wips for a variety of reasons.

Thanks so much for the questions!!! 💖💖💖

[izusun]

ALRIGHT I HAVE SOME CRACK FOR YOU

Consider: mom genes are dominant in BHNA. Theoretically Midoriya Hisashi can look like anyone. So Izuku told Todoroki about how his father left early on, he and Kaminari (you know Kami would also be a conspiracy theorist) went wild. Everyone from Sir Nighteye to Stain was under contention (except for All Might, Izuku shot that one down pretty quick), and once they revealed their conspiracy board to the rest of Class 1-A, everyone got excited at the prospect of gaining Izuku as a possible cousin. The mystery was afoot: who was Midoriya Hisashi?

BUT THEN one day Aizawa invites Inko to visit UA campus to clear up the mystery once and for all because its distracting his class. Not only was all of Class 1-A gathered on the campus lawn, the entirety of UA's staff was there because there was a betting pool among all the teachers.

And Inko reveals the BOMBSHELL that one of the reasons that Midoriya Hisashi left was because Izuku wasn't actually his son, and that Izuku's father was ACTUALLY a random hook up. This makes everyone freak out, because now quirk can be disregarded, which means it's anyone's game.

But THEN Inko is like "I do know who Izuku's father is" then looks over to Izuku and is like "Are you sure you want me to do this in front of everyone?" And Izuku just sighs and is like "You might as well at this point."

Inko goes up to Yagi and says "You are the father"

Everyone fucking riots.

- Goblin anon

IM IN LITERAL TEARS GOBLIN!!!!

PLEASE WRITE THIS?? LIKE?? YOUR AU DUMPS ARE ALWAYS GODTIER IM ROLLING!!!

BUT TO BRAINWORM WITH YOU, HERE’S ME RAMBLING AGAIN

first: KAMINARI AND TODOROKI FRIENDSHIP AAAHHH

after midoriya opened up that hisashi left, todoroki rushed to kaminari’s room because new shit to imagine with his best bud

just him slamming the door, not even batting an eye at kaminari’s surprised shout and the mini electric static that filled his room. todoroki shuts the door close, and heads to kaminari’s closet where they keep their mini rolling whiteboard. kaminari sees him and jumps up in excitement because oohh new thing to theorize with todo

kaminari watches as todoroki erases the previous theories they had (it was if aizawa had a minor telekinetic quirk because of the way his hair floats. and then it branched to aizawa having a MENTAL quirk where he just makes people believe that their quirk is gone because how is it possible to block off the quirk gene??? ANYWAYS) and writes with his clean penmanship.

it went:

MIDORIYA’S DAD?????? underlined thrice with red marker

kaminari is instantly excited because of all the things they theorized, familial bonds were always the best ones to tackle (i.e. that one time they were convinced that amajiki was midnight’s son)

AND THE MONTAGE OF THEM TRYING TO PIECE WHO IT IS LAJDLAKS

kaminari proposed all might but todoroki, as you said, shot it down.

why nighteye is the dad? green hair and the mutual fanboying for all might

stain? (todoroki opened up about the case and kaminari stuck to his word to not tell anyone) kaminari’s the one pushing this because think about it, roki. why was stain against both you and iida but not mido? he probably knew that mido’s his son!

enji? “i’d love to have midoriya as my brother” - todoroki shouto, xxx2

theorizing midoriya’s dad got too exciting that they shared it to their separate class gc (lovingly called “deku’s fanclub,” of course it was a secret from midoriya) and everyone got into it. EVEN BAKUGOU

they started theorizing who of them have any inkling relation to midoriya.

uraraka? they both can float (bakugou pretends to be into this theory too to protect ofa’s secret)

asui? green hair

tokoyami? midoriya’s black whip resembles dark shadow (again, bakugou pretends to be sold even though inside, he’s cackling because he knows how far from the truth that was)

the teachers’ betting pool were on uraraka’s family. only a handful (aizawa, all might, and nezu) don’t put in their bets.

and so it goes on and on and on. and aizawa breaks because he’s had enough. he hates hearing from both his colleagues and his students alike about midoriya inko’s escapades that led up to the birth of his problem child. it’s because of that reason that aizawa invites inko to end this once and for all.

“mrs. midoriya inko-“

“ms.,” inko corrects.

“ah, yes. ms. midoriya inko, i apologize for calling you on your weekend, however, i think it is imperative that we know who is the father of your son simply because i no longer wish to hear about this topic from any of these people’s mouths. not only is it disrespectful to you and your son’s virtues, but it is the greatest displeasure i’ve ever had the opportunity to hear.”

a beat of silence passes before inko laughs, light and beautiful and happy. she looks at izuku who’s sheepishly rubbing at his nape, looking far more embarrassed than the rest of 1a and the other teachers who realized that their bets and theorizing were actually discourteous.

so to save her son, she explains that izuku was the fruit of a random hookup during her youth. everyone (including both katsuki and izuku) explodes at the news. inko laughs again, waving her hand as if to dismiss everyone’s reaction.

“i do know who it is though,” she says, mirthful, however izuku knows her enough to see that she was also nervous. it was in the way she fiddled with her fingers, eyes shifty, bouncing her weight from one heel to another.

“can we know who it is?” todoroki asks from beside kaminari, notebook open between them.

“well, if izuku’s alright with that,” inko answers. everyone turns to izuku before she was even done answering, eyes ranging from pleading to borderline desperation. he gives his ascent.

they watch as inko straightens her back, face void of emotions and crosses the room towards-

to-

holy shit.

“you’re izuku’s dad,” she says, clapping yagi from his back.

what the fuck.

[cy-fi-theansweris42]

Thinking about Bob Zanotto again (to the surprise of none).

Like, how did he join the Psychic 7? Out of all of them, there’s no instantly obvious reason for why he’s there.

Ford- Brought them all together. Otto- It’s implied that he and Ford were friends before they even knew the others. Lucrecia- Otto mentioned her in a letter, he’s the one who introduced Lucy to Ford. Compton- We see Ford come talk to him after the unfortunate incident with the animals. Helmut- We see Ford come talk to him after one of his shows/rehearsals.  Cassie- She wrote a popular book, they probably heard of her that way. Bob- ???

Like Bob seemed to be this quiet guy. He wouldn’t have done anything that would have gotten anyone’s attention like the others. There’s just this gap in time in his life from what we see in the memory reels, from after losing his mom to when he first meets Helmut. At some point in that chunk of time, he had to meet the others and get invited to the party.

Now here’s where I start rambling and theorizing, and it’s going to roll with the theory that maybe Bob already lived in the area. It’s definitely going to be a bit rambley, so bear with me.

So Bob lived a pretty lonely life. His dad was already gone by the time he was a kid, whatever older sibling he had that would later become Truman’s parent left, and he was left alone with his mom. His mom struggled with her grief presumably over losing her husband (I don’t know if this is canon or just the most popular theory), and started taking less and less care of herself and spending more and more time out in her greenhouse drinking to cope with her grief. Bob cooked, cleaned, and made sure his mom slept. Basically, he took care of her for years, and I think that would have continued even when he was an adult, he’d cared for her for years and knew she didn’t have anyone else, he wouldn’t have left her alone.

But then, when Bob was still young (honestly he looks like he’s in the 17-21 age range in the slides with her funeral), his mom died. And the thing is, because he spent so long caring for her, he never formed any connections with anyone else besides his plants really. So then when she died, he was probably left with a house he didn’t know how to afford, her greenhouse, and all of his plants. She died, and Bob would have realized just how alone he was.

Now what I think happened here is that in order to afford things, maybe Bob started growing fruits and vegetables to sell. Maybe there was a small town nearby, and he sold produce to the local grocery store or someone there to make ends meet. Maybe rumors started flying about how no matter the time of year or the weather, he always had such good produce that would put any other gardener to shame. And maybe, someone in the Psychic 7 caught wind of these rumors, and went to check it out.

The idea of Bob growing stuff and that’s how the others heard of him could work too. If you talk to the version of Otto in Bob’s mind, then you can get the following dialogue line:

Raz: That can’t be the only reason you were friends with Bob. Otto: True. We also needed his vegetables.

So Bob did do stuff like grow plants in order to keep everyone fed, so the idea of him doing that beforehand isn’t too far-fetched. 

[inevitably-johnlocked]

A Little LOKI Theory Post

*SPOILERS FOR LOKI E1-3 BELOW CUT*

I am loathe to admit that I love the new LOKI TV series, mainly because of the Mobius/Loki dynamic, the interesting sci-fi plot, and just... I so far surprisingly like every episode. This was the show I had such low expectations for, because I didn’t really like LOKI – I felt he was the Moriarty of the MCU, overused when they didn’t need him, and making me annoyed by an actor I love.

EXCEPT I’m also a sucker for character-driven, psychoanalysis stories, like all these D+ Marvel shows are, and it’s leaving me super shocked about me liking characters I didn’t before. I’m fully invested in all these characters now.

I think the only reasom I really wanted to see this show for was because it ties directly into the next Dr. Strange movie, so YEAH, I’m in love multiverse and time travel things, so it was inevitable that I would enjoy this show, I think.

AND of course, I’ve theories and speculations because there’s a lot to work with, and I LOVE stories like these, so I decided I would take some time out and stretch out my meta-writing grey cells. And I wanted somewhere to have my theories/ideas written out before they come to fruition, because DAMNIT I have headcanons and hopes and dreams.

So here we go, spoilers below cut. Please note I know nothing about the comics aside from what other theorists and reviewers have mentioned:

The TVA are “the bad guys” but I think it goes deeper than that... Like the whole Timekeeper thing is really sus. I think it’s only one Timekeeper, who is Kang the Conqueror, who maintains the Sacred Timeline to ensure that he stays in power to PREVENT the Multiverse War which I think he knows happened to stop him. I also think Renslayer is behind all of this suspicious thing; I learned that in the comics Renslayer is a love interest for Kang, so like........... SUS.

AND I think Multiverse War they talked about in the beginning of the show IS the Multiverse War they’re ABOUT TO HAVE. This is a show about non-linear time, and there’s hints about multiverses in the next Spiderman, and Dr Strange is LITERALLY called “Multiverse of Madness”. Wild Theory: Maybe Doctor Strange IS one of the Time Keepers following the Multiverse War.

Loki initially wants to learn the enchanting that Sylvie does for his own selfish gain, and I think he was lying about breaking the TempPad so he would force her to open up. HOWEVER, I think he had a sudden change of heart after learning about the TVA’s Variant Staff; we already see him sort of fond of both Mobius and remembers Casey’s name, so I feel like that he will end up using this knowledge he gained very differently.

Further on this point, they established in Ep 3 that TVA agents / staff need actual real memories to “manipulate” them. So, I think Loki will use this power he learned from Sylvie (I mean, she explained to him how to do it, and this show is really good at using the “Chekov’s guns” given to us) to bring Mobius to “his side”, and TOGETHER they take down the TVA and make it what it should be. Mobius is very dedicated to the TVA, so I really do forsee that it will be Loki “freeing” Mobius as the catalyst to swaying to siding with Loki until the end. He’s a good man with a big heart for humanity, so I think he will totally side with freeing everyone else.

On that note, I think the reason Mobius is fascinated with the nineties is because he’s a variant jetskiier pulled from the nineties. I suspect in his original timeline he probably had a jetski accident and died, but in the Variant timeline, he survived, and out of pity I think Renslayer “saved” him and recruited him. The TVA wiped his memories after he couldn’t cope with the fact that he was SUPPOSED to die.

ALSO still on Mobius, I think every time he keeps questioning too much, he gets his memory wiped, which would explain why he never remembers leaving the cup stains on Renslayer’s table.

I think there’s more to Miss Minutes than meets the eye. Another theory I had was that she was similar to VIKI in iRobot, essentially running the company to her programmed “laws” after the TimeKeepers passed on. So like there’s no TimeKeepers at all, but there was at one time, and Miss Minutes was left to her own devices.

Another theory similar to this, is the Doctor Who episode, The Long Game, where everyone wants to be promoted to “Floor 500″ because it’s rumoured to be a paradise and is the top floor no one has ever returned from; It turns out it’s run by an alien that feeds on the human or something similar, and the people who went to the top floor ended up frozen husks of who they were. Not saying it’s this exact thing, but more the idea that everyone thinks what’s upstairs is a magical wonderful benevolent corporation looking out for what’s best for everyone, but instead it’s one evil thing doing stuff for their own purpose. Eh.

Another rogue theory: Mobius IS a Loki variant, which is why he’s obsessed with Loki himself, knows Loki better than Loki knows himself, and either knows and omitted it, or DOESN’T know but naturally is intrigued by the Loki Variant and him always finding out the truth is WHY his memory keeps getting wiped, and why everyone is always squeamish about having a Loki around. Mobius mentioned that Loki is the one Variant they have stopped more Lokis than any other Variant....

On that thought: IF Lokis are the most common Variant they capture, I think a LOT of the TVA are Loki Variants, trapped in the forms they were presenting as when they were brought in, and because magic doesn’t work in the TVA, they CAN’T turn off the glamour, had their memories wiped, and in turn could now be Codenamed Casey, or Mobius, or B15........ An abstract theory, but I think it’s interesting.

And another, since I learned that it is in the comics: Mobius is a clone drone. This one saddens me and I really hope he’s not. Because I love Mobius.

I think Sylvie was a Variant who worked for the TVA, but somehow had an awakening and wants to free everyone else... the only thing against this theory is her seeming surprised that her magic stopped working when she arrived at the TVA. If she was an agent, she would know that magic doesn’t work within the TVA.

And I think this series will inevitably – if the rumours of a Season 2 are true – have the Mobius / Loki dynamic solving Time Crimes... a.... Holmes and Watson if you will. :D HAHHA.

So yeah. This list will change obviously for the next 3 weeks, and I had a lot of fun with this so I will probably keep it up.

Some things I hope happen by the end:

A giant “probably not going to happen because this is Disney”: I hope they pay-off the “bisexual” confirmation by the end of this... highkey with Mobius (damn it I ship them okay), but lowkey just even a passing remark about anyone LOL. I really ship Lokius, okay. I need this dynamic in the MCU

PLEASE DON’T KILL CASEY, we love Casey. #FREECASEY

I’ll be really honest here, I will effing GROAN and be a not-happy Steph if they do the ship that I think they’re gonna do: Sylvie x Loki. Which is weird to me that Disney would be okay with self-love, but the OBVIOUS initial dynamic of Loki x Mobius is too much, “look we gave you bisexual Loki, aren’t you happy enough??” Just. I dunno. It’s weird / a pet peeve of mine that a lot of online reviewers are bitching about “woke” Disney the one time they ACTUALLY FINALLY let a title character say they’re queer, but are all “UWU SYLVIE AND LOKI ARE GONNA GET TOGETHER BECAUSE LOKI LOVES HIMSELF UWU”. Even though Loki spent legit more screen time with Mobius, and literally did everything he told Sylvie that he wouldn’t do around people he doesn’t trust around Mobius ALREADY?? It’s like they already forgot about the first two eps. LEGIT the whole dagger=love metaphor LITERALLY happened in the previous two episodes, but alright chiefs. Anyway. Sorry, it’s stupid to be bothered by it. 

We’re gonna get that heart wrench moment that the other two shows had, and I TRULY BELIEVE it’s gonna be between Loki and Mobius when Loki tells / shows Mobius the truth. LOOK I JUST WANT MORE OF THEM OKAY. And I need my heart ripping moment in this show within the next two eps LOL. We got one in WandaVision. We got one in FATWS. GIVE ME ONE IN LOKI. MAKE ME LIKE LOKI.

Anyway, so that’s my rambling. Thanks for taking time out to read all this. I miss theorizing, and this show is perfect for me to do it. I’m not AS good at these shows as I was with Sherlock, but it’s still fun, because it’s new and my brain is full of headcanons and idea things. I’ll write again after Ep 4, I think. <3 Thank you lovelies for letting me do this!

[the-bau-quinjet]

Breakable Heaven

Chapter 11 of In Breakable Heaven! We’re getting to the part that inspired the whole idea for this series, so I’m pretty excited!

Summary: Reader deals with the repercussions of being abducted.

Warnings: hospital recovery (I don’t know if that needed a warning but just in case), nothing else I can think of

Word Count: ~2100

You were wheeled out of the classroom on a stretcher, not fully conscious but not completely out of it either. Spencer stood frozen in the corner, watching as the medics loaded you onto the stretcher and wheeled you out of the room. You wanted nothing more than to be able to tell him you were okay, but you couldn’t form the words.

Waking up in the hospital was confusing. It took a lot of effort to open your eyes, but once you did you were instantly alert. The overhead lights put you on edge. The whole experience reminded you of how it felt when the trunk opened in the parking lot.

 Your heartrate spiked, alerting the nurses to your anxious state. They rushed in the room, taking your vitals and administering medicine through your IV to calm you down, effectively putting you back to sleep.

 Unsurprisingly, Penelope was first in the room the second visitors were allowed. You could tell it was her from the sound of her shoes clicking against the tile floor of the hospital.

 “Hey Pen.” You smiled at her, glad to see someone you recognize after waking up this time around.

 “You’re up! That’s good! Are you okay? How are you feeling? Do you need anything? I can go get the doctor! Or a nurse!” She turned around, ready to get anything you might need.

 “Pen! It’s fine. Just sit with me, please?” You shifted slightly, grimacing.

 “Of course. Of course! Anything.” She moves farther into the room, settling down into the chair next to your bed.

 “How’s um…” You want to ask about Spencer, but you don’t know how without outing your relationship, something you’re not sure Spencer wants at the moment. “How’s everyone doing?”

 “Oh, sweetie, they’re great! We didn’t have any new cases, so they’re all stuck doing paperwork.” She’s all smiles, unknowingly confusing you. If he isn’t on a case, why isn’t Spencer visiting you?

 “Oh, good. I’m glad they’re getting a break. They deserve it.” Your smile is weak, but thankfully Penelope assumes it’s from the pain.

 The two of you keep talking, Penelope showing you videos of cute animals to help cheer you up, for a few hours before she has to leave. Just as she’s standing up to go, JJ walks into the room.

 “Hi, Y/N.” You laugh at the timing.

 “Hi JJ. Fancy seeing you here as soon as Pen is leaving.” Your first genuine smile of the day graces your lips.

 “Why, you didn’t think I’d leave you all alone did you? We’re taking turns. I’ll be back!” With a wave and a smile, she’s out the door. JJ takes her spot in the chair, leading you through the same conversation as earlier.

 The next few days repeat like that until you’ve healed enough to leave the hospital. Every member of the team took a turn visiting you except for one. The one you wanted to see more than anyone else.

 Penelope drove you back to your apartment, offering to walk you all the way up.

 “It’s okay, Pen. I can handle it. I just want to get back to normal.” You leant over the middle console to hug her before getting out of the car.

 “Y/N?”

 “Yeah?”

 “I never asked before, but I’ve been wondering...” Penelope trailed off, not knowing how to word her question.

 “What is it?” Her show of nerves was putting you on edge.

 “What was the phone call about? The one right before you were taken. You just looked so happy in the footage, I thought maybe if you remembered it you might have something to smile about.” She sounded so genuine, you didn’t know how to tell her it would only hurt more.

 “Oh, ya know… I- uh, I don’t remember.” You stuttered through your response.  “Thank you though. I know you’re worried about me, but you don’t need to be. I’ll be okay.” You smiled, turning around before she could see the tears welling up in your eyes.

 The walk up to your apartment was the first time you had a moment to yourself since everything happened. It gave you a chance to really think about why Spencer wouldn’t have come to visit you. Unfortunately, you could only think of one reason that actually sounded plausible.

 You shake your head in an attempt to clear your thoughts as you pull out your keys. You walk into your apartment, the darkness forcing you to realize how alone you felt.

 --

 You don’t remember falling asleep, but an insistent knocking on your front door wakes you up.  

You shuffle towards the door from your place on the couch, sparing a second to glance through the peephole. You open the door without a greeting, simply leaving it open and returning to the couch.

 Spencer walks in, closing the door behind him. He stares at you in silence, unsure how to begin this conversation.

 “Y/N…” He expected you to turn towards him when he spoke, but you remained face down on the couch. You knew what was coming and you couldn’t deal with it. “How are you?”

 That surprised you. You mostly expected him to break up with you and run, not check up on you first. Maybe you were wrong to expect the worst. Maybe he just didn’t want to out your relationship, but him not visiting you left a sour taste in your mouth. Especially because you know he was in Quantico with the rest of the team.

 “Funny, you would know if you bothered to visit. What? You didn’t want the team to figure it out that bad? Hell, Hotch visited me and I barely know the man!” You started mumbling into the couch, but your emotion intensified as you spoke. You rolled over, sitting up to look at him.

 “No, that’s not why… I didn’t want to visit you because I… I didn’t want to...” He looked physically pained by the words he was trying to say. “I didn’t want to break up with you in the hospital.” He finished the sentence, not even looking at you.

 “You what?” Your voice broke on the two word sentence. His words were like a slap in the face, surprising you after his gentle opening of the conversation.

 “I think we should break up.” He said it with more resolve this time, as if he had practiced saying it with no emotion.

 You could feel your breathing speeding up, trying to push back the tears you knew were coming. “But why? What happened? We were going to get dinner? I thought you were happy? I thought we were happy?” Your words were rushed in an attempt to make sense of the situation unfolding in front of you.

 “We can’t be happy together. It just won’t work.” Spencer’s words felt so cold. He stood in front of you emotionless while you felt as though the world was crumbling around you.

 “That doesn’t make any sense. Spence, where is this coming from? This is so different from the last time we talked, a complete 180- No.  540 because we’ve gone all the way around and then kept spinning!” You were more confused than anything, unable to understand why he was saying these things.

 “It’s just how it has to be. Goodbye.” He turned and left without another word, leaving you to piece together where it all went wrong.

 You sat on the couch, staring at the door as if he would walk back in and say it was all a dream, that he was happy with you, and everything would be fine as long as you were together.

 You stared, unmoving, until the beginnings of daylight began to filter into your apartment through the curtains. The sounds of people getting ready for their days began to filter through your apartment building as you drifted off to sleep.

 --

 When you woke up later that night, everything felt like a dream, the only reminder being the dried tears on your face. You spent the next few days trying to figure out what went wrong, but every single time you came up empty.

 Penelope came by to visit you every chance she got, but you never told her about you and Spencer. Even when she told you how he has been acting off.

 “How’s the rest of the team doing?” You asked in an attempt to learn about Spencer.

 “Oh, they’re fine. Wrapped up another case yesterday. Apparently Spencer was acting a bit off though, nobody can get him to talk about it. I think Hotch and Rossi have an idea about it, but they wouldn’t budge when I asked.” She supplied you with the information you were craving.

 “Off? What do you mean?” You tried your best to sound nonchalant as you prodded for more information.

 “He just seems a little sad, but whenever anybody asks him what’s wrong he gets defensive. It’s typical Spencer behavior. Someone will get through to him eventually, and he’ll open up. Derek and I were theorizing, and he thinks it has to do with his secret girlfriend. Speaking of opening up though, have you considered therapy? I know you said you don’t want to talk about what happened, but I think it could be good for you to get it off your chest! I mean, you’re not even listening to music anymore! I just want you to be happy again, and I know it’ll take some time because you went through a trauma, but talking about it helped me when I was shot, and I know everybody deals with things differently, so don’t feel like you have to go talk to someone, I just want to help in any way I can, even if that means-”

 “Pen, I actually scheduled an appointment for tomorrow.” You smiled at your friend, cutting off her rambling. Dealing with the breakup on your own has actually been more difficult than dealing with the kidnapping. At least you could talk to Penelope about your feelings regarding being kidnapped and tortured, but bottling everything else up inside was not healthy.

 “That’s good. I’m really glad you’re taking the necessary steps to move on and heal.” She replied, smiling again.

 “Thanks Pen.” You couldn’t help but wonder what she would say if she knew the whole truth.

 --

 After a week off, you went back to work at the bookstore. You just wanted things to be as normal as possible. That was kind of hard with the media circus surrounding your kidnapping, but you did your best.

 You were actually unprepared for the media involvement. From your perspective, the case was over before it really began. You were only “missing” for about 5 hours, but it’s difficult to keep a case quiet when the suspect was shot and killed in a public high school. It’s one of the things you worked through in your therapy appointments.

 After your first appointment, you scheduled another for later in the week. You decided to go twice a week for a month while things were still so fresh, and then you decreased it to once a week.

 After about a month of therapy, you decided to do another cover show. Your therapist helped you work through the emotions enough that you could once again turn to music to heal. After scheduling the show, you called Penelope to invite her and the rest of the team.

 “Hey Pen! Are you busy this Saturday?” You surprised yourself with how happy you sounded.

 “Not unless a case pops up, but right now everything looks clear. What did you have in mind?”

Penelope wasn’t oblivious to your happy attitude, but ultimately she decided not to mention it for fear of putting a damper on things.

 “I’m actually going to do a mini-show, just three songs, but I wanted to invite you and the team! I think it will be really cathartic for me to get all of this out in the open.” You planned the three songs with your therapist. It would be a way for you to tell Spencer everything you were feeling. He wouldn’t answer your calls or texts, and he might not even come to the show, but you decided you needed to get your feelings out there even if he wasn’t there to hear them.

 “That’s wonderful! I’ll make sure everyone is there!” Penelope couldn’t hold in her joy as she squealed in delight.

 “Thanks Pen, but don’t force anyone. Only if they want to come!” Your words were playful, but you didn’t want Spencer to feel like you were forcing him to come through Penelope.

 “Okay, fine. But I’m still going to pester!”

 The two of you hung up the phone, eagerly awaiting Saturday.

tag list:

@mac99martin​ @goldeng1rl8 @eevee0722 @l0ve-0f-my-life @haylaansmi @dinonuggets1967 @laurakirsten0502 @green-intervention @burnin-passion @takeyourleap-of-faith @secretpickleprofessordean @awkwardnesshabitat @loveheathens @fan-girl-97 @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat @akuri-shinsou @prongsyy @panhoeofmanyfandoms

[male-fanfics-for-days]

Pierced By Cupid

Tsukishima x Reader

A/n: I may have spent waaayy too much time on this one, so sorry if it seems like it was dragging on. Tsukki is a charater I went from hating to loving mostly bc I relate to him so much. Anyway, enough on that!! This has not be prof read so sorry for mistakes!!

ENJOY!!

EDIT: I made a part 2 which you can find here! The Jealous Type

At first, he didn’t really notice. He wasn’t looking for anything so there was no reason he really would have noticed, but when he did he was actually shocked by how he didn’t notice before.

A boy, only what he could guess was an inch shorter than Nishinoya with h/c hair and his school jacket off, was in his class studying at the time. Not surprising, however, it was a college prep class. But it was the way the boy kept glancing up at the clock that got Tsukishima’s attention, bouncing his feet and twirling his pencil in his hand while seemingly only somewhat paying attention to his studies.

The only reason Tsukishima was at all looking at the boy was because he was annoying, the boy just wouldn’t stop moving which reminded him of a certain ginger boy the made him groan in his head, prying to any god that he didn’t believe in that this boy wasn’t like the short, excitable spiker on his volleyball team.

Somehow, he got vibes that this boy was different, though he didn’t want to jump to a calming conclusion. 

Soon the bell rang and he stood from his desk as it was time for him to get ready for the after-school volleyball club activities. The boy he was watching before, despite seeming anxious to get out of class, was calm in collecting his things. He put away his notebooks and pencils in a neat and orderly fashion, setting them all gently in his shoulder bag that looked brand new.

“Tsukki?”

Tsukishima blinked a few times, refocusing and looking down at his long time friend, who was staring up at him in confusion. 

“What?” Was Tsukishima’s blunt response, starting to put away his own things as well, which were not much.

“You were drifting is all,” Yamaguchi muttered out, looking around the room as the other students left. “You were pretty far gone too.”

“The guy who sits behind you wouldn’t stop moving.” Tsukishima replied honestly, adjusting his headphones on his neck and making his way out of the room, Yamaguchi following by his side. 

“The guy behind me?” Yamaguchi thought out loud, looking to the ceiling as they both made their familiar path to the club room to change. “You mean L/n-san?”

“I don’t know his name,” Tsukishima tisked, rolling his eyes while stuffing his hands in his pockets. “He was just moving so much and staring at the clock, it was annoying.”

“Hm, it’s probably because his petition for a club creation got accepted and it starts today.” Yamaguchi theorized, and despite his refusal to believe, Tsukishima found himself getting curious.

“... I didn’t think a first year would be allowed to do that.” He simply stated, both to keep the conversation going and to state a fact that he really didn’t know. Yamaguchi chuckled softly and nodded his head.

“Apparently it took a lot of convincing, both on L/n-san’s part and apparently his middle school teachers and a therapist.”

“And where did you hear all this?” Tsukishima prodded. Not to say he wasn’t interested in this tale, but it was an odd amount of information for his shy, freckled friend to have. “Gross, please don’t tell me you are gossiping now?”

“E-eh! N-No Tsukki!” He stammered, flustered. He waved a hand and looked up at Tsukishima. “The others in the class were talking about it while we were eating lunch… I wasn’t eavesdropping! They weren’t quiet about it!”

“What club did he want made, anyway?” Tsukishima swiftly changed the subject, much to the relief of Yamaguchi’s heart.

“Archery.”

“Archery?” Tsukishima echoed back, stopping his walking in the hallway just outside the door that led into the club room and gave Yamaguchi an inquisitive look. “Why archery?”

“I’m not sure,” Yamaguchi shrugged. “But, if it involved a therapist, he probably has a reason he likes archery.”

Tsukishima stood silent for a long moment in thought, which surprised Yamaguchi a small bit. Tsukishima was never one to show an interest in a subject that he wasn’t himself already interested in, but for him to be thinking about not only someone else, but what that someone else was interested in was like seeing a blue moon.

Finally Tsukishima gave a grunt and a shrug, opening the door to the club room and thereby bringing an end to that conversation.

--------------

The next day, Tsukishima found his gaze unwillingly going back to the boy from before. It seemed he wasn’t as anxious as before, though still bouncing his legs and twirling his pencil, he looked far more at peace today. Tsukishima wondered if it was because he got to do his archery club yesterday after school, like it was an itch that wasn’t satisfied until he had a bow and arrow in hand.

Tsukishima then began to wonder what that was like, to hold a bow and an arrow in hand, to release an arrow into a target several feet away from you. He’d never done it before so he let his mind wonder.

Was it fun? Did he get a lot of people to join the club? Is it like playing volleyball or like playing an instrument? What type of techniques does he do to hit the middle of the target with one clean release of a bow string?

The more he thought, the more his curiosity grew. He knew it was probably pretty obvious he was burning holes into the back of the boy's head, but he couldn’t help getting lost in his own head.

“Y/n-chan!”

A girl came bouncing into the classroom and Tsukishima was immediately annoyed, she was far too perky compared to the boy whose head raised at the sound of his name.

“Hello, Nachi-san… Why are you here?”

Tsukishima felt the corners of his mouth lift up at the boy, Y/n L/n’s, reactions. The girl gave a dramatic pout while placing her bento on his desk.

“We are supposed to be eating lunch together!”

Y/n looked up at the clock, then down to his desk, and then up at her before averting his eyes to the desk once more.

“I don’t remember saying that…”

“You don’t remember a lot of things.” She sassed back, putting her hands on her hips. Y/n glanced at her before bouncing his feet and twirling his pencil once more, the girl, Nachi, started to speak again.

“You also said we were going to study after school. I have a test coming up for math and you know how much I suck at math, really it’s as if it’s a whole other language. Speaking of language, we should study English together as well. You’re so go at it, I don’t think you have ever gotten below a 95%!”

As the girl rambled on with pointless conversation, Tsukishima could tell that Y/n wasn’t at all listening to what she was saying. It looked as if he just turned off his mind, eyes slowly drifting around the room, never on the or anyone for that matter. It was like he was seeing a different world before his eyes, and this was all while the girl continued to prattle on.

Tsukishima couldn’t stop the low chuckle that left his throat as he watched, the girl just now realizing that the boy she was speaking to had no idea she was even speaking in the first place.

“Y/n-chan!!”

Said boy flinched at her loudness, his hands going to his ears as he blinked rapidly at her, his brows frowning as she huffed at him.

“You were spacing out ag-”

“You should eat your bento before lunch ends.” Y/n dropped his hands to his desk, leg beginning to bounce once more as he looked at the clock. ��I’ll be at archery after school, so I won’t be studying. Oh.” 

Y/n then smiled at the girl, completely overseeing the fact that he cut her off and wasn’t listening to her.

“I bought a new bow yesterday with my father after the club, it is larger and is a more western type of bow. It has been really fun to use so far and I really can’t wai-”

“Did you even hear a word I said?”

The girl cut him off, glaring down at him with arms crossed. Y/n lost his smile and looked at her confused.

“When?”

“Just now!” She called out. “I was talking to you then you cut me off!”

“Oh…” Y/n’s joy that was once there faded quickly and he dropped his head in a bow. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to… I just had-”

“Never mind, Y/n-chan.” The girl sighed, shaking her head and picking up her bento. “I’ll go have lunch with my other friends.”

Y/n watched her leave silently, Tsukishima himself watching as well. He didn’t really understand it, but he was angry at the girl. Tsukishima himself was not someone with an overabundance of patience but even he could understand Y/n was not someone who could focus easily. 

It was obvious that Y/n had a type of ADHD, the lack of focus on conversations, the constant moving, covering his ears with loud noises, interrupting mid sentence and rapid movement from topic to topic. 

Despite all this Tsukishima was even more curious about the archery boy, and not for the reason he was before. Before he was curious on a basic level, why archery, why start a club, why so much movement, and so on. Now he knew more about it and was more curious on a deeper scale, why do archery if you had trouble focusing, why be in a college prep class that requires a lot of focus and study, why was it so difficult for him to start a club (despite the obvious fact of only being a first year).

Yamaguchi wasn’t at school for a family reason, as he had told Tsukishima threw a text, so when the day was through and time for him to go to his own club, Tsukishima found himself walking down the hall to a different gym then his usual. 

It was went he heard solid swift thuds through the open door way of the gym that he found what he was looking for, in the blink of an eye, he saw arrows pass the view of the door then a satisfying thunk of the arrow finding its target.

Tsukishima stood in the entrance of the gym, looking from one side of targets to where the arrows were being shot from. Despite being in the view of Y/n, he was far too focused on the grip he had on the arrow and bow string to care about someone at the entrance of the gym.

He released the arrow with a breath out, and instead of a thunk deep into the target and Tsukishima expected, he instead he a snap and crack. Looking to the target, he allowed himself to be in shock.

The arrow just released had gone straight through the back of an already embedded arrow, leaving the first arrow split in two while the second arrow was stuck between the two split pieces.

“Wow, you’d better hope that’s not school property.” Tsukishima snickered, giving Y/n his ever famous smirk. Y/n looked a little shocked that anyone was there, let alone watching. He held his bow by his side, placing the arrow he was about to take out back in his quiver.

“It’s my own equipment.”

“Ah, so were you just trying to impress me?” Tsukishima continued to smirk, Y/n looked to the floor and shook his head before looking back up at Tsukishima.

“I didn’t know you were there… I don’t suppose you're here for the Archery Club?” Y/n mood seemed to shift from anxious to relaxed as he spoke the words archery, but Tsukishima shook his head.

“No, I’m on the volleyball team. I just came to see what the noise was, I’ll be leaving.”

He turned and walked away from the gym doors, his mind already thinking up an excuse for having to show up late for practice when he heard Y/n’s voice.

“You can come by anytime you want,” Tsukishima turned and looked at Y/n with a blank face, Y/n smiled a small corner smile. “The club was just made, so it’s only me. The teachers are going to find other students who want to join… Until then, it will just be me.”

Tsukishima and Y/n both stared at each other for a moment, Tsukishima not breaking his blank faced facade. He turned and walked away, throwing a comment over his shoulder before he fully walked away.

“We’ll see.”

---------------------

Y/n changed the times for his club, so instead of having it just after school he asked for the early morning as well, before school truly started. He was the time he set up so him and Tsukishima could spend more time with each other without Tsukishima getting in trouble for missing practice.

Their meetings have been happening for about 4 weeks, Yamaguchi formally meeting Y/n a week after Tsukishima had already been hanging out with the archer. 

In such a time Tsukishima learned a lot about Y/n.

Archery was one of the only things that ever allowed Y/n to focus with an almost superhuman accuracy. It was also one of the ways he would study, more likely to remember the answers to a review if he nails a bullseye. Another thing he had learned was that Y/n was just as sarcastic as Tsukishima himself, the only difference is that Y/n never said it out loud.

Y/n had trouble with noise, specifically loud noises or the sound of multiple people talking at once. He once described the feeling to Tsukishima as he was cleaning his bow and arrows.

“When I hear a loud noise or a crowd of people, my whole body goes stiff. It started to become hard to breath and not matter how hard I try to block it out, I can’t move.” 

Y/n sighed, letting the bow rest on his lap and on his crossed legs. He sat across from Tsukishima who was looking through Y/n’s notes, Tsukishima looking up at him pause.

“When that happens, I kinda… black out. My whole body suddenly feels like the energy was just sucked out of me,” Y/n looked at Tsukishima in the eyes as he gave a somewhat weak smirk. “I usually pass out when it happens.”

“... that sucks.” Tsukishima responded, Y/n giving him a blank look before rolling his eyes and standing.

“No shit, aren’t you supposed to be the smart one?”

Tsukishima smirked and looked up at the boy while raising a brow.

“Keep that attitude and I won’t let you eat my spare sweet bread.”

Y/n immediately turned back around, almost entirely forgetting he was supposed to be doing archery.

“WAIT YOU HAVE SWEET BREAD?!!?”

In the classroom, they simply acted as strangers. Not ignoring each other, but also not making a show of friendship. Tsukishima and Y/n both realized they were the same in that they didn’t really need to interact with each other constantly to know the other is still a friend.

Yamaguchi said how nice it was to see Tsukishima gain more friends, which Tsukishima quickly shot down as him not ‘making friends’ like a child. One of the reasons Tsukishima was quite upset with Yamaguchi about saying this was that he said it during volleyball which meant his other teammates heard it and were relentlessly teasing him.

Sure, he was good at dodging their questions and instead riling them up the way they tried with him, but his teammates genuinely wondered who this mysterious new friend of Tsukishima’s was.

None of them thought they would meet this friend today.

They were maybe 1/4th of their way into practice when they heard a soft voice call out to Tsukishima from the gyms door way, everyone in the gym turned their heads to see a short h/c boy standing with a shoulder bag over his shoulder, his uniform jacket around his waist and a grey notebook in his hand.

“Um… Tsukishima… You forgot your notebook in my gym.” Y/n held up the notebook as if to show proof of why he was interrupting their practice, he gave a deep bow to the coach and the other volleyball players. “Please excuse the intrusion.”

“You’re fine, kid.” Coach Ukai said, but the end of whatever he was going to say was drowned out by a few people Tsukishima never wanted meeting Y/n.

“Are you Tsukki’s new friend we’ve heard about?!” Tanaka called out, going straight up to Y/n who flinched a little at his loud voice, flinching more as Nishinoya jumped up and down next to him.

“Ah! You’re shorter than me!! I’m not the shortest anymore!!”

“You’re still the shortest on our team, however.” Tsukishima cut in, making his way over to Y/n who only relaxed a little more as Tsukishima stood next to him, taking the notebook.

Nishinoya was irked by Tsukishima’s comment, but it was Hinata that set off a bomb of questions aimed at the already slightly overwhelmed boy.

“OOOOHHH!!! You’re the first year that started the archery club, aren’t you!?!?”

“Uh… y-yea-”

“ARCHERY?!?! LIKE THE KIND SAMURAIS USE?!?”

“Well, not all the time but-”

“You’re the leader of that club right?? How many people have joined so far?”

“No-”

“Alright, calm down.”

Daichi tried and failed to calm the rambunctious trio, even Kageyama was muttering out questions. It took a moment to realize that this was what kind of chaos Y/n couldn’t listen to, and when Tsukishima looked down at the boy he could tell immediately he was not well.

His chest visibly stuttered, showing he was not breathing right, his skin went and lighter shade and his eyes were moving rapidly to each person who was talking and speaking over each other.

Tsukishima swiftly turned away and walked over to his extra school bag he brought with him, thanking his past self for finding a reason to bring it.

“Tsukki?” Yamaguchi softly called his friend, but Tsukishima was too focused on something else.

Tsukishima pulled out his headphones, an extra water bottle, his phone, and his black volleyball jacket. Standing back up and turning back to Y/n, who looked to be getting worse by the second, he put his plan to action.

Without even acknowledging the other people in the room, he put his headphones over Y/n’s head, placing them over his ears, plugging it into his phone and playing whatever music was available. He picked up Y/n’s hand and placed his phone in his grip, then put the water bottle in his other hand before putting one of his large hands over Y/n’s eyes, then glaring at the group that was round them.

Y/n leaned into Tsukishima’s hand that was over his eyes, his breathing slowly going back to normal, with puffs of air as he tried taking deep breaths.

“You’re all overwhelming him, idiots.” Tsukishima almost growled out, glaring at a specific four people. “Do any of you know what personal space is?”

He didn’t wait for a response as he took his hand off Y/n’s eyes and guided him to his bag, Y/n kept his eyes closed and took sips of the water before allowing Tsukishima to lower him to the ground next to his bag. Y/n curled his legs to his chest, putting the bottle beside him and clutching Tsukishima’s phone close to his chest, Tsukishima then placed his black jacket over Y/n like a cover, successfully blocking out the harsh gym lights.

Once he stood at full height, watching Y/n for a moment for any other signs of discomfort, he turned to his team and glared.

“If I knew you were all going to try and kill him, I would never have let you even know he existed, not that I wanted to in the first place.” His last comment was directed at Yamaguchi, who looked down.

“Gomen, Tsukki.”

“We didn’t try to kill him!!” Hinata cried out. “Will he be okay?!”

“Not if you keep yelling, you walking, human orange.” Tsukishima snapped, making Hinata irritated but covering his mouth.

Sugawara was the one that came over to Tsukishima, glancing down at the covered, curled up boy. 

“Is he really okay? What was that?”

“He’s sense’s are hypersensitive. Like I said, he was overwhelmed.” Tsukishima replied, looking down at Y/n and sighing, before looking off somewhere else. “He’ll be fine, he just needs time to recover.”

“Would it be best for him to move to the club room then-”

“No.” Tsukishima quickly answered, cutting off Sugawara who seemed taken back by his quick answer. “Let’s just keep practicing. He’s fine here.”

There was a thick silence before Coach Ukai clapped his hands and told them to continue. Kiyoko and Yachi stood by Y/n as he hid away in Tsukishima’s jacket, making sure no stray volleyball hit him while he was recovering. The boys were also cautious of being too loud, especially Hinata, Tanaka, and Nishinoya, the loudest of their team. 

Practice went on like normal and finished just the same, them all getting ready to change and go home. Tsukishima kneeled down in front of Y/n, who was still curled up and had his jacket over his head, and he slowly took the jacket from off him.

What he saw made his heart skip a bit in a way he never felt before.

Y/n had his arms crossed over his knees with his head laying on them, Tsukishima’s headphones still on his ears playing music while he slept peacefully. His cheek was pressed to his arms and his mouth was slightly one, little out tiny puffs of air.

He looked so small, so at peace. A peace Tsukishima has never seen on someone before, and watching his eyelashes flutter somewhat in his sleep as he dreamed, Tsukishima quickly realized what this feeling in his chest was and felt a heat rise to his face in response.

Slowly peeling his phone out of Y/n’s hand and taking his headphones back, he placed his hand on top of Y/n’s head and spoke softly to the sleeping boy.

“Hey, we’re leaving.”

Y/n didn’t stir for a moment, which made Tsukishima softly run his hand over Y/n’s head in a gentle pet to wake him up.

“Y/n.”

It was then that Y/n’s eyes fluttered open, Tsukishima moving his hand back to his side and watching as Y/n slowly woke up. He opened his mouth and let out a yawn, then lifted his arms over his head in a cat like scratch, letting his legs stretch out as well. He made little noises of someone just waking up, rubbing his eyes and he took in a deep breath, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment.

Tsukishima would first be found dead and as tall as Nishinoya before he would ever admit to thinking Y/n was currently the cutest being he has ever known and has ever existed, and he was really glad no one else was left in the gym to see it. He would never admit that he would have been jealous to know others saw Y/n’s cute display, to know that Y/n was like a plushy in human form.

“Your practice is over?” Y/n rasped out, his voice still soft from sleep.

To avoid being seen blushing, Tsukishima quickly went about packing his things.

“We are leaving now.”

“Oh… okay.”

---------------------------------

There was little to no talking among the two as Tsukishima changed and got ready, Yamaguchi had stayed in the club room to tell them both that the team was buying meat buns as an apology for what they did earlier.

Yamaguchi spoke with Y/n casually as they made their way down to their coach's store, Tsukishima only half listening to what they were saying, half thinking deeply to himself.

Did he really fall in love with this archer boy? Half of his mind reasoned with him that it wasn’t that surprising, seeing as they had a lot in common but they were also very different. That part of his mind admitted full force that he was in love and that he was allowed to have nice things like then.

Then came his logical side, with a list; they were both boys was the biggest, Tsukishima had never looked at guys romantically before, he knew Y/n for 4 weeks, outside of school he barely knew anything about Y/n outside of the small things he’s been told, Y/n himself doesn’t know much about Tsukishima since he never really made and effort to explain more about himself outside what he thought was needed, the team would probably never see him the same again, people in class would probably talk which was more annoying than anything. 

He started thinking the same way he thought for volleyball, why try if it was going to end poorly, for both him and Y/n. Why risk all the bad things that could happen, no, that would happen.

‘I’m not in love’ He thought to himself conclusively looking down at the boys conversing next to him, but unfortunately for him, his heart had other plans.

Y/n had a tired smile that made his face shine in the most beautiful way, a gentle laugh leaving his chest as something Yamaguchi had said. His eyes squinting into crescent moons with crows feet wrinkling his slightly flushed cheeks, making them look soft in the moonlight. Then, he turned to look up at Tsukishima.

He knew at that moment that no matter how many times he would say it’s not true… he was pierced by this small cupid boy, and Tsukishima now knew what it felt like to be one of Y/n’s targets. Though, he was not complaining.

His eyes reflected the moon and were glossed in a still sleepy way, his eyes still crinkled at the corners and a smile now more soft than cloth could ever be. He was looking up at Tsukishima as if he had just handed him the earth and sky, and as dangerous as the feeling was, Tsukishima could feel in his chest that if Y/n asked for it, he would give him just that.

“I’m sorry if I made your practice more difficult, Tsukki.” Y/n said gently while shrugging his shoulder, unknowing of the effect of his voice and words on the tall boy's heart.

“... Tsukki?” Was the only thing that could leave his lips, his brain using every ounce of control it had not to turn into a blushing mess. He was so whipped for that small archer, and Y/n had no idea.

“Oh, sorry,” He bowed his head with a slight laugh. “Yama-san calls you that, so I thought I could as well.” 

Tsukishima glanced over to his long time friend, who only gave a small chuckle in response.

“Mm.” Tsukishima didn’t risk his voice, knowing if he tried to say anything at the moment, he would in fact let loose that Y/n was more than welcome to call him anything.

“Oi! Tsukishima! Yamaguchi! Archer-san! Over here!”

The trio glanced up and saw the rest of the volleyball team outside the store, each eating a meat bun. Without knowing it, Tsukishima walked closer to Y/n’s side, and the only reason Y/n noticed was the warmth and was radiation off him.

They got closer and Daichi stepped forward, bowing to Y/n who became even more flushed then simply the evening air.

“I would like to formally apologize for overwhelming you before.”

The rest of the team bowed as well, making Y/n back up into Tsukishima, resulting in Tsukishima gently placing a hand on the small of his back.

“O-oh, it’s okay.” Y/n looked down and away, avoiding eye contact. “You’d be surprised how often that happens to me, I’m just glad Tsukki got to me before I collapsed.”

“Eh?! Would you have died?!” Hinata exclaimed in sheer worry, but flinched after seeing Y/n flinch himself from the loud tone of his voice. Hinata was hit in the head by Kageyama, who scowled at him.

“You’re too loud, boke.”

“Ugh! I--” Hinata was about to yell as just a natural reaction when talking to the dark haired setter, but glancing at Y/n who was slowly starting to hide behind Tsukishima, he growled low and glared at the ground. “...I know that.”

“Here,” Asahi came over to Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, and Y/n, handed them a bag filled with meat buns. “I got one for each team member and two for...eh...uhm.”

Asahi had to peek around Tsukishima’s back, everyone now noticing that Y/n basically hiding behind Tsukishima and staying close to his back while watching everyone. Y/n blushed and stuttered.

“E-eh, my names L/n Y/n.”

“L/y-kun.” Asahi finished, smiling shyly back at Y/n who gave one as equal.

Though it would go unnoticed as Tsukishima going into the bag to grab a meat bun held by Yamaguchi, what it really was was Tsukishima blocking everyone's view of Y/n.

Sugawara spoke next, smiling at everyone.

“As nice as it would be to get to know L/y-san, we have early practice tomorrow and it's getting colder.”

“Right,” Daichi said, “Tomorrow morning will be one by one training seeing what each of us can work on, so get well rested.”

“Yes sir!!”

Tsukishima gave the meat bun bag to Y/n and covered his ears, everyone else sheepishly looked on and replied again more quietly.

Yamaguchi said he needed to go to the grocery store to get a few things for his mother before he went home, so he told Tsukishima and Y/n to go without him. This left the two boys to walk home together, alone.

Y/n quietly munched on the meat buns while they walked, unknowingly shivering as he stared up at the evening sky, then to the buildings around in a distracted way. Tsukishima didn’t really know what his plan was, but he stopped Y/n from walking with an arm in front of him.

Y/n bumped into his arm, not seeing it before, then looked up at Tsukishima.

“What’s wrong?”

“You were going to trip over that.” Both Tsukishima and Y/n looked down and saw a large branch from a nearby tree in the way, Y/n went to pick it up but Tsukishima just used his foot to kick it out of the way.

He then began taking off his jackets and placing it on Y/n’s shoulders.

“You are also shivering.” Tsukishima looked ahead, acting as if this was no big deal. But he caught a glimpse of Y/n snuggling into his jacket more and had to look away, a silent cuss mouthing from his lips.

“Thank you, Tsukki.” Y/n said, continuing to munch on his snacks. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were being nice to me.”

Tsukishima, stopped walking, in turn making Y/n stop walking and look up at him. Tsukishima then places the back of his hand on Y/n’s forehead, Y/n himself looking on in pure confusion.

“Uh… Tsukki-”

“If you think I’m being nice, you must be sick.”

Y/n snorted and let out a hearty laugh, swiftly swatting away Tsukishima’s hand and stomping down the road like a child, all while Tsukishima hid a smile behind a smirk.

“You’re dumb.”

“Wow,” Tsukishima snarked, walking next to Y/n and looking down at him with his signature smirk. “Did you think of that one all by yourself? I’d say I’m proud but, I don’t care.”

Y/n laughed again, shaking his head, not noticing the look of pure admiration Tsukishima was staring at him with.

Despite the nervousness he felt of his feelings being found out, Tsukishima felt as if their conversation was as smooth as any. It wasn’t forced or uncomfortable, Y/n laughed freely and comfortably while Tsukishima joked and sent sarcasm his way. He would have thought that after knowing how attracted he was to the boy, he would have stopped being natural or at least would not be talking as much as he was at the moment.

But everything with Y/n was natural, as natural as the moon is to the stars. Their conversations switched and changed often, though Tsukishima felt no irritation as the excited glimmer in Y/n out weighed any negative thoughts.

Tsukishima hadn’t even really realized it until he and Y/n stopped in front of a house, that he was walking Y/n home and this was where they went their separate way.

Y/n neatly folded the bag that was now empty of meat buns and put it in his pocket, slowly taking off Tsukishima’s jacket and handing it back to him.

“Here, thanks again for letting me use it. And it was nice to meet your team.”

Tsukishima took his jacket back, flushing slightly at touching Y/n's hand and looking off.

“Even despite the fact they almost made you pass out.”

“Well, in truth they did make me pass out, but luckily you were there so I didn’t collapse and make a fool of myself.”

“I don’t think that is what makes you a fool, Y/n.”

Y/n puffed up his cheeks and slightly hit Tsukishima’s arm, Tsukishima not feeling anything and just smiling it off. Y/n turned to his house and walked to his door, not wanting their fun to end but they would see each other again tomorrow. 

Knowing they would be together again tomorrow, even for a short while, made Y/n’s chest swell with joy.

“Y/n.” Y/n had just put his hand on the door handle when he heard Tsukishima’s voice.

“Yeah, Tsukk--” 

He turned to face Tsukishima, but he didn’t expect him to be so close. Practically pushed up against the door, Y/n looked up only in time for Tsukishima to lower his head and made their lips touch.

Y/n’s eyes immediately fluttered shut at the warmth that suddenly filled him body, the smell of Tsukishima intoxicating him just as his jacket had been for so long.

In truth, if it were anyone else, Y/n would not have calmed down so quickly, he would not have felt comfortable enough to fall asleep just anywhere, he would not have felt comfortable letting just anyone touch him the way Tsukishima had. 

And in return, Tsukishima didn’t know anyone that made him open up as fast as Y/n did, not even Yamaguchi, his childhood friend. He had always been closed off and unwilling to put his whole heart into things, with fear of failure, heart break, rejection. But through this kiss, through connecting his lips to Y/n’s, he was saying that his heart was open to Y/n and only Y/n. Somehow, through the 4 weeks of knowing one another, it was like cupid's arrow was destined to pierce them both.

They pulled apart, the breath mixing as they stayed close, the lips brushing over each other as they soaked in what had happened.

“Kei.” Tsukishima’s voice came out in a hushed tone, one that made Y/n swoon.

“Wha--”

“If we are going to be together,” He continued, standing straight and looking down at Y/n’s flushed face with a smile. “Call me Kei.”

Y/n stood in shock, but as many things in his head, he was quick to smile back and Tsukishima. He allowed his heart to swell with the only thought of the tall boy with glasses and a sarcastic attitude, Tsukishima too allowing his mind, body, and soul to be only filled with the short, just as funny, archer boy who stole his heart in record time.

“Well… goodnight then… Kei.”

“Goodnight, Y/n.”

[sou-ver-2-0]

What do you think of Midori and Kanna being biologically related theory? Personally I really like it because it adds even more shin and Kanna giving them the same abuser. My theory is that even as a child Midori was manipulative. Maybe he was physically abusive but I think he’d prefer to gaslight and coddle Kanna from the moment she was born to make her feel weak and useless without him, thus explaining her deep seeded insecurities and why she tried so hard to please her adoptive parents out of fear she’d be returned. She probably had a bad feeling about Midori somewhere down the line that made her want to leave him. Because Kanna left Midori when she was adopted maybe he’s the one who wrote the message on Kugie’s phone to punish her. I find it interesting how out of all the executions to this point Kanna was numbed for it and the plants would preserve her body. Maybe it was all safaline’s twisted idea, but I could see Midori coming up with that execution so even in death his little sister can’t abandon him again. That and it’d really mess with Shin.

I’m also fond of the theory of Kanna and Original Sou being related! I’ve previously written about my feelings here, here, and here.

The biggest draw of making them biologically related would be that it’d give Kanna and Sou’s relationship a narrative weight in the Emotion Route to match Shin and Sou’s past relationship in the Logic Route.

I like your ideas! That would make for a compelling story. Although I certainly have more sympathy for abusive children than I do for abusive adults. But that would be an emotional parallel for Shin and Kanna, to both be Sou’s victims!

I’ve seen theories that Sou could be either Kanna’s brother or father, and I admit I’m much more partial to the idea of Sou being her brother. This is mainly because Sou needs to be young enough to pass as a high school student in Shin’s school. (My mind is extremely Shin-centric!) Additionally, Kanna talks more about her sister more than her parents, so I think of sibling-relationships as being more important for Kanna’s arc.

I’ve previously theorized that Sou’s parents belong to Asu-Naro, because it would be a good parallel with our other agent, Kai. If that’s the case, Sou could still be pretty young. A friend mentioned to me recently that it’s a common enough trope for assassins to be raised in orphanages. If Nankidai went that route, it’s possible that both Kai and Original Sou were placed in orphanages, just like Q-Taro and Kanna. This would add a layer to Q-Taro feeling a bond with Kai, since Q-Taro says he “sensed the scent of a lonely person” from Kai and comments that he is “somebody of the same kind.” It would also give Sou and Kanna a potential opportunity to know each other for a little bit, before Kanna is adopted, assuming they were left in the same orphanage.

However—I say this as a fan of the theory that they’re siblings—we both need to be cautious not to get too attached! Maybe Nankidai will surprise me and say that Original Sou is Kanna’s very young father. It feels easier to me to make them siblings, because that establishes a natural connection between them that doesn’t raise questions about Sou’s age. In contrast, it’d be such a shocking plot twist to throw in a teenage pregnancy situation and make Sou her father. I guess I am afraid that the story would feel needlessly soap-opera-y. But what do I know? I have a lot of faith in Nankidai right now, so maybe he could pull off that kind of plot twist with sensitivity.

I know you were asking about them being siblings, but since Sou being Kanna’s father is a theory I’ve seen tossed around in several places, I figured I’d throw in my two cents! At the moment, I’m still partial to the idea of them being siblings. Possibly half-siblings, if Meister is their father who has been with several women.

I’m also a fan of the theory that Midori could have forged Kugie’s smart phone message! I previously approached this theory by thinking about how Midori might have wanted to manipulate Shin, but it would be emotional if he were motivated to specifically hurt Kanna!

If “The Human Flower” execution was Midori’s idea, that would be devastating! I agree that it’s really interesting how the execution is so focused on preserving Kanna’s body after death. Thematically, YTTD keeps bringing up the idea of “preserving people after death,” especially with dolls and AIs. So her death could be simply resonating with that theme, but I also wonder if it could be evidence of her having family in Asu-Naro. Family who has a twisted idea of “preserving Kanna in death” instead of protecting Kanna’s fragile life.

(Slightly off topic, but my reading of that scene is that Kanna died in agony! I know that Safalin claims that Kanna wouldn’t feel pain, but she’s clearly screaming as she dies… I’ve always imagined that Sara and Shin and everyone would feel momentary relief at Safalin’s promise, only to realize afterwards that Kanna could feel pain after all! The Floor Masters can’t lie about “the important things,” so I assumed that—to the villains—Kanna’s pain wasn’t “important.”)

Thanks for sharing your ideas with me! I used this as an opportunity to ramble a lot, haha. :) TLDR I would be very excited if Sou and Kanna turned out to be siblings. 

[fizzysquish]

OKIE

Okie okie okie SO

Snatcher

Snatcher is quite possibly one of the most interesting characters I have come across. Because snatcher is so... Gray.

He's not necessarily good or bad, black or white, hes gray. And I know some people would argue this with me but I'm being serious.

Hes a character that actually has a hella ton of depth, when you look at everything.

A fairytale story gone wrong, a tortured soul that quite literally decided he wanted to be the villain.

And i think about this so much.

To start from the beginning- the prince, from what we can tell based on Vanessa's chapter and the time rifts based on subcon, was a sweet guy who loved his Princess and went to law school to do what he had wanted. He was loyal and loving towards her, to a fault.

And personally, I think its great because its like. The exact opposite to snatcher.

And it's understandable! I mean, their tale is tragic. It truly is.

A man too blinded by his own love and loyalty, which ultimately led to his end.

Now, leading more into the snatcher part I want to ramble about, this makes a very.. Interesting perspective on him.

For one thing it makes their actions, to a degree, more understandable. Their emphasis on things belonging to HIM. The fact that theyre cold (ahaha-) towards other people, and have a pretty big temper.

The fact that they are as far from being how the prince was at possible just.. Interests me.

I know ive seen a lot of fan content where snatcher is depicted as hating his old self, going so far as to detach and refer to it as a whole different person.

And in a way, I agree! I mean

Imagine youre this ghost, and you finally escape what is.. Basically your own hell.

You escape. You get stronger. You learn more and more as the years go by and you realize.. How much was wrong before. How bad it actually was.

Maybe you weep for yourself. Maybe you feel lost for a long while Maybe you just get angry. It makes total sense for you to start hating what you used to be.

But here's what fascinates me about snatcher. As I said before, hes not.. Black or white. Hes a gray.

Does he do evil acts? Absolutely yes. He is a villain, without a doubt.

However, he's not a monster. For one thing, they rule the forest, and do 'take care of it' (granted, by making other people do stuff for him, but still). He also gets mail to his minions and such, even if its just so 'its almost like someone cares about them'.

And the two scenes id like to point out that particularly stick with me-

His boss battle and his options in chapter 5 (aka mu's boss fight aka i cant remember the name)

In the actual story of the game, I find the fact that snatcher even gives the option of a fight interesting. And yeah I know this is a game and all but hear me out.

Snatcher kills his contractors. He says so himself. However, the fact that he has a fight at all means he gives them at least a fighting chance. Does he ever expect them to win? Of course not! But they at least have some semblance of a chance, even if the odds are basically zero to none.

Which makes hat kids victory so... Interesting?

Like i was talking to my gf about this the other day, and yknow, I bet he's never been beat before. His whole ending scene, he sounds almost.. Desperate. Winded.

Like-

"Sorry kiddo, blue doesn't suit me, so i guess that makes me invincible huh? That's too bad!~"

"This can't count, right?! Surely this doesn't count!?"

How much you wanna bet he was actually surprised that hat kid found a loophole to hit him with. She beat him. Because she found a loophole.

Most likely unlike anyone else they've 'fought' (if you can even call it a fight, I bet), Hat kid actually beat him. So it'd make sense, if thats the case, that theyre... Probably a fair but desperate to make the kid leave.

And I dunno, the whole mood of his defeat just interests me so much. It goes from winded, to annoyed to desperate and then to just

Tired.

Snatcher realizes he can't win, and they cute their losses and give hat kid the time piece.

And then this leads me towards the final chapter, specifically when you talk to him on the stair case.

Even more specifically, a line he says.

"I want you to go up there, and hit them. I don't usually advocate for that kind of thing, but this is pretty authoritarian."

I don't know why but that sticks with me. Its almost laughable, when you think about it. Of all the characters in ahit, youd imagine Snatcher would be the one most.. I dunno, open for to hitting? Xgxgigci

And when you think about it, he only really hits you one time, and thats in his boss fight when you have to figure out which ones actually him.

Everything else is either magic or something else.

Which.. Granted again this could all be just a kind of throwaway thing, but I always come back to think about it cause that means Snatcher found a loophole for themself igficgdtu

But basically yeah. Snatcher fascinates me because hes a more morally ambiguous character, and you could spend literal hours going over him. From their design to their story to their actions. And one of the things that i actually love that gears for breakfast did, intentional or not, was that they didn't give the whole story. There's still enough mystery to keep you coming back, and theorizing, and making your own assumptions and stories based off whats there.

...plus its good ramble fuel lol

[shiny-procrastinates]

(re)Watching Magia Record S1 - part 1

Hello and welcome everyone to the first post on this watch-along commentary of the first season of Magia Record! Whether you are just now watching it for the first time, or are re-watching in preparation for the second season, or have only played the game and are curious about the anime (in which case I'd be surprised you even exist) I hope you can have some fun reading these ramblings as I try to put my thoughts into words  (actually turned more into narrating the show) throughout all 12 13 episodes.

Before we can get to it, though, I have a few warnings to give:

1 - As much as I'd love to be able to memory swipe so I can watch this fresh all over again, such an ability is sadly still beyond my grasp. In other words, this isn't my first time watching (or second, for that matter; more like the sixth… or seventh…). That being the case I can't claim that these are my first impressions and it's very likely this commentary will be somewhat biased by my previous knowledge. However, I can guarantee one thing: I will do my best to keep this spoiler-free, so you don't have to worry if this is your first time watching.

(I will, however, be assuming that you have watched the OG series and Rebellion, so beware of that).

2 - Please don't come into this expecting it to be Madoka 2

Also no, this is not a continuation of the OG, it’s an alternate universe spin-off.

This one's for first-time viewers.

Well, ok, this sounds like vague tweeting and I'm kind of whining here, but I have seen a number of peeps on the internet saying that Magia Record is bad only for their argument to boil down to "because it isn't OG Madoka!"

Yeah it isn't. I'm pretty sure there's "Side Story" written somewhere in the title too.

Leaving aside the matter of nostalgia glasses and whether the original series was that much of a masterpiece or not (it's been over five years since I last watched it, so I can't say anything either way.) it seems kind of weird to me that someone would bash a spinoff on the grounds of how close it is to the original. Because here's the thing: to me, the whole point of spinoffs is taking an already existing scenario and putting a spin on it to make something new. That's exactly what makes them fun!

MagiReco didn't need to be a Madoka clone or to try hard and beat the original. That would probably have made it bad, actually. What it did need to do was to create an interesting story using the world set up by the OG Madoka and the other spinoffs, and that, in my opinion, it did, so I hope people can give it a chance and judge it on its own merits rather than only compared to the original. I'm not saying you can't hate it, either, I myself have my own problems with it, it's just that I want to see more reasonable reasons than "it's not the OG so it's bad".

3 - As you can probably already tell from these warnings, these posts are bound to get looong, so I'd recommend setting aside a fair amount of time and getting real comfy if you're gonna read it all. I also don't mind if you just skip ahead and only read the interesting parts, I'm not the internet police.

3.5 - I don't want to use it as an excuse, but I think I should make it clear that English is not my native language, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes and awkward/stilted text. It's hard to tell by myself, so feel free to correct me if you find something.

SO, with that out of the way let’s get down to what’s really important:

Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story: Magia Record Episode 1

Whew, now that’s a mouthful.

You know, in my mind I always thought a “side story” was something that happened alongside a “main story”, like another POV, so I’m not sure that’s the most appropriate title, but who am I to judge?

So here we go, we’re off with some beautiful futuristic scenery already, that’s the Madoka series I know.

As the classic Sis Puella Magi plays in the background, two unseen narrators tell us the tale of the so called “magical girls” as we are shown the reality of being one, meeting our first witch for this series.

Risking your life to save a cat doesn’t seem like the smartest of things. Rather, witches eat cats? That’s mean.

No, you really, really don’t. This narration definitely seems made to make everyone who saw the original say this, particularly with how silly are the wishes these girls suggest. 

And hey, look, even this girl who supposedly had her wish granted doesn’t seem very happy.

Hang in there, this is only the first episode.

Man, this scenery really is pretty though.

After an exciting fight with a witch in the train, our girl here silently goes home to find

Whatever the heck this is.

So, our girl here seems to be having strange visions whenever she enters her room, that is very very suspiciously cut exactly in half. Protagonist, you sure have an unique sense of interior decoration.

She goes on with her day, makes two lunchboxes and… oh, it seems she’s all alone.

Is this something you should be telling your own daughter?

Long story short, Iroha’s parents are abroad right now (as is suspiciously the case with many a anime protagonist parents). I actually love the parallel this scene draws with OG Madoka: whereas Madoka’s parents seem responsible and Madoka even looks up to her mom and they’re a happy united family, Iroha comes off as being the responsible one in her family and her parents are gone from the get-go. This way, the lonely atmosphere of the previous scene also starts making sense.

So, it seems like there’s something Iroha wants to do here, and that’s why she decided to stay behind.

Perhaps. Did you wish to save a black cat?

Wow, this teacher is speaking fast. Calm down lady, we’re not here to speedrun the content, geez. Though I guess we should be happy she’s at least giving a proper class, unlike a certain other teacher…

Oh great, it's this guy.

Ok, Iroha doesn’t remember what she wished for and Kyuubei doesn’t know either, although he knows she used her wish for the sake of someone. Kyuubei theorizes that the reason she doesn’t remember might be that not remembering was part of her wish, but Iroha doesn’t think she’d wish for that. I don’t think you’d ever think to wish for something like that until you had to wish for something like that though.

She’s got a fair point. After all, wishing in this universe is basica— the heck is going on in the background there?! O-kaaay…

Iroha was having a weird think-spot mental conversation with Kyuubei there, and missed speedrun teacher’s lecture entirely. Being meguca is suffering.

We get some school motto propaganda, and now we’re on the roof. Oh? Where did all the friendship stuff from the propaganda go? Seems like Iroha’s not following the school spirit. Unless she considers the white weasel a friend, so that’s why she gave him her extra… wait, Kyuubei can EAT? I thought he was some alien machine-like being. H-Huh...

Classmate A: Tamaki-san, maji tenshi!

She’s probably just shy. According to her classmates, Iroha used to be busy doing something or the other, but no one can remember what that is.

Cute. 

But maybe don’t do that somewhere someone could easily walk in on you, Iroha.

Iroha gets a call by the girl from the combat scene from before, whose name is Kuroe. I couldn’t tell from their conversation if they’ve known each other for a while or if they just met each other for the first time in the fight before.

On the train, although she’s the one who called her over, Kuroe remains silent. Iroha, clearly uncomfortable, tries her best to make conversation. Poor Iroha, I know the feeling.

We learn from her that the number of witches around has been decreasing. She comments that being unable to get Grief Seeds is troubling, but it’s better than having witches causing trouble. Poor girl has no way to know just how much of a bad news it is running out of Grief Seeds.

What’s with pink-haired girls and lacking self-esteem? Iroha, are you sure you didn’t wish to save a black and forget that you did? You did save a white one just before.

Kuroe finally decides to talk, and she tells us this:

If you go to Kamihama, you’ll be saved. To anyone that saw the OG, the first thought that comes to mind is that they’ll be saved from their destiny of turning into witches, but it seems Kuroe doesn’t know the truth yet. She just doesn’t want to fight witches anymore. I think.

The train lights up, and…

...this is extremely unsettling considering the truth about witches and the conversation they’re having right now. There’s a lot of this, but this just hits different having watched the original.

Iroha’s not inclined to believe what Kuroe’s saying. Of course, despite not remembering her wish, she’s the type that’s happy with fighting witches if she can save someone, and Kuroe’s not being very convincing either. The whole thing is apparently a rumor spread by some girls who saw a dream that told them that.

Except that Kuroe actually had the dream too.

Like most magical girls, Kuroe made a short-sighted wish, and regrets it. She now wants to be saved, so she’s going to Kamihama.

...or she was, but before that, they’ll have to defeat the witch they let escape the other day, ‘cos she’s back for more.

I actually have so many questions about this scene. Weren’t Labyrinths pocket dimensions? How come this one’s moving in physical space? We know witches themselves move and their Labyrinth goes with that, but I thought it was more, like, the entrance to the Labyrinth moves. Then how come witches can escape if magical girls get carried with their Labyrinth when they move…? Just... just... what?

The answer to all of that is probably “magic”.

Like that, Express Witch Labyrinth crashes right into what seems to be a train station. Labyrinths don’t have brakes, confirmed.

Brutal.

Looks like it’s not only magical girls who have territorial disputes going on. Although it’s nice that they won’t have to fight two witches at the same time, this is not exactly a relief when you consider these two were already struggling with the previous one, and this one just ripped it apart like crab.

As expected, Iroha’s arrows do no damage at all. When all seems lost…

A wild singing mini Kyuubei appears! Is this a shiny?

The singing Kyuubei distracts the witch and jumps towards Iroha, who uses her pro white cat catching skills to grab it, and… something happens. Whatever this Kyuubei did, Iroha’s having some flashbacks now. Sadly, the middle of a battle isn’t the best time to be having a BSOD and, despite Kuroe’s attempts to snap her out of it, they’re sitting ducks right now, a black and a white one.

Thankfully for them, though, they’re not alone in this barrier. This mystery blue haired girl spams flying spears and makes short work of the witch Iroha’s arrows didn’t even scratch earlier. She’s clearly at a whole ‘nother level.

Also, chibi Kyuubei’s gone. Totally not suspicious. Nope. Not at all.

So, from this OP miss get-the-heck-out-of-my-territory, who didn’t even bother saying her name, we learn that not only there is no salvation in Kamihama, there are more, stronger witches, and there are currently no Kyuubei. She gives them the Grief Seeds from the two witches before, and passes on a warning to them. Not the friendliest of magical girls. Though if you consider what happens when you run out of Grief Seeds, one could understand why it’d be undesirable having too many magical girls in the same place.

With this, Iroha and Kuroe take the train back to their town and things are totally awkward again.

Welp, seems like Kuroe doesn’t want to chat anymore, so we’ll have a dream sequence instead.

Forgive my lack of words, but this scene doesn’t need them. This is just… you couldn’t ask for a better representation of what being a magical girl wishing for salvation is like. Everyone has their own reasons, but in the end, having known despair, these girls are desperately clinging to this last hope called Kamihama. It’s almost a pilgrimage.

“Let’s go to Kamihama. We’ll be saved there”

And in the midst of all that is the mysterious girl from Iroha’s dreams.

(the track here, Paradero de Memoria, is also great btw)

Now, with various wishes written all over in the background, we get Kyuubei’s spiel about magical girls. I think this is word-by-word the same from the original too.

We now get to finally know what our protagonist’s wish was.

So Iroha wished to cure her younger sister’s illness, but the sister in question is now nowhere to be found. Worse: everything related to her is gone. Even Iroha, who made a wish for her sake, didn’t remember her existence until now. Oh man, that’s no normal disappearance. What happened? Guess that’s what Iroha will have to find out now.

With that, we conclude the first episode of Magia Record(’s s1)!

This is a really strong first episode in my opinion. It decently introduces our protagonist, sets up the mysteries we will be dealing with from here on and also manages to trace connections with the original, while using the viewer’s previous knowledge to give a whole different impression to some scenes. You wouldn’t be like “hell no” at the rumor there at the start if you didn’t know the truth about magical girls, and I doubt that final scene would hit that hard either. It’s just really good at this and it’ll continue doing that from now on. I love it.

Speaking of the final scene, me having watched the original over five years ago might also be part of it but that is really my favorite scene in Madoka overall. I just really really love that scene. (Seriously, I’ve watched this scene so many times I know it by heart now. Help.)

Alas, I lied, the episode’s not over yet, we still have our classic anime first episode ending-opening to watch. So let’s listen, to Gomakashi:

This logo’s real pretty.

So yeah, pretty standard anime opening. If you pay attention, there are some references to Connect too, what with the selfcest and whatnot. Although I managed to mistake this when I first watched, this one’s actually sung by the trio TrySail rather than ClariS. That’s the VAs for Iroha, Asakura Momo; Yachiyo (the get-out-of-my-territory girl), Amamiya Sora and Natsukawa Shiina, whose character we’ve yet to meet. TrySail has a lot of cool songs, so do check them out if you haven’t already. (free ad)

This time, in fact, the episode is over! Whew, I did say this was going to be long, but not even I thought it’d be this long. By the time this is posted I should have a backlog of these, so my plan is to post one everyday until we are done. I hope you had fun reading this here rant and I’ll be looking forward to meeting you guys again tomorrow, same place, maybe same hour, so we can go on and watch episode 2 together!

(P.S.: I am considering doing a series of posts at a later date comparing the anime to the game, but we’ll see. The first few chapters are fine, but the game is stupidly long, so I feel it’d take a lot of motivation and stamina I’m not sure I have at the moment. There’s also the possibility watching the first arc again would bring back my yt copy-apocalipse grief back and that’d suck, definitely don’t wanna go through that again.)

[tundrainafrica]

Title: Trials and Tributes (5/5)

Summary:  

"There were witches who lived among them. Or so that's what Levi was told. He just could not believe for the life of him that she'd be one of them."

Levi is a soldier who interrogates witches before they are put on trial and Hange might just be a witch.

Levihan Secret Santa Gift for @cleacourgette

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Link to other chapters:  1 2 3 4

Notes: And.... It’s done. Merry Christmas and a happy new year! I hope you enjoyed the gift ;)

Levi was not one to underestimate the powers of pubs particularly the ones strategically placed on crossroads. Being a place where people relaxed after a long day, a place that prided itself in being constantly changing and completely unpredictable, it was an oasis of both free flowing drinks and free flowing information.

Levi was there for the latter.

From there, he figured out the whereabouts of his uncle overtime. Kenny the Ripper. An assassin for hire who travelled through the southern lands taking down both drug lords and nobles for a fee. He had grown up with the man and had been trained with the bow and arrow and the knives. Kenny the Ripper described in the stories could not be anyone else.

Spending his nights there, he had also figured out the relatively backward society of his homeland especially when compared to the land down south. Witchcraft was something more feared in the cities and towns up north, possibly due to the characteristic religiousness that came with their culture. It could have possibly been due to the amount of power given to the religious authorities in his own country as well.

Five years into his exile Levi had settled for frequenting a pub located on a crossroad, a week’s journey away from the mountain path where he and Erwin had separated more than a decade back. Although he had learned a new language, new customs and adapted a new name, Levi never did forget his life up north. His nights were still haunted by the dreams of Hange on the pyre and the lives he had taken in a frenzy.

Sometimes his dreams were merciful and he would find himself back in the cabin so many years ago listening to rambles over tea. Even the happy dreams though left Levi a bit teary-eyed as he would yearn for the life he lived long ago. In the end though, he started to realize he just wanted to see Hange again.

Hange is ahead of our time. An extraordinary person, born into a society that rejects the extraordinary. Erwin’s words would echo in his head as he lay awake at night. With nothing much else to ponder alone in a dark room at night, Levi found himself worrying about her. Was she sleeping well? Eating well? Had Erwin failed to defend her at court? Was she still able to practice her crazy experiments and mess up some kitchenware in the process?

There were only two ways to find answers. He could go back to the capital and risk death. Or he could strategically frequent pubs for information. The realist in Levi that had only grown a little more influential over the years compelled him to decide on the latter.

The pieces of information Levi had gotten came in small words and sentences, comments and opinions. It required him to piece available information together while settling contradictions that surfaced by gathering more information. He rarely asked anyone directly, saving those cards for when he really needed them. He could still have been a high profile criminal and he risked being recognized and thus, would usually settle for listening in an inconspicuous corner of the pub.

With all the cards lined up against him, Levi was only able to complete the puzzle a decade later. The last piece came one night when a messenger came in to announce the abdication of the crown and the pub exploded into cheers.

“Who’s the new ruling family?”

“The noble family Reiss will be taking the throne.”

A transfer of power was always big news. As Levi listened, he realized he wasn’t too surprised. Among the information he had gotten from his nights in the pub, he had heard of power vacuums and civil unrest which all resulted from a mysterious tragedy decades ago when the nobles had attempted to burn a witch at stake. The theories that had stemmed from that incident with time had made their way to the countries down south.

The devil had rejected the current ruling class. The religious theorized.

The empty seats of power only made it easier for their enemies to usurp. The more secular supporters inferred.

The shift in power dynamics and the fear and unrest among the working class only made it more difficult for the church and the remaining nobility to clamp down on their poor. The decade long political battle culminated into a usurpation of the throne and the reinstallment of a noble family with more secular views and a more blatant distrust on the church and its influence.

Secular views? Levi was sure Erwin was involved. He had felt it then, at the foot of the moment before he had crossed the border, as Erwin recounted his own views on their society. He also knew Erwin would not have taken something as heavy and political as the usurpation of a throne lightly.

Somehow, he felt a weight disappear off his shoulders when others had started to discuss the crimes of the church and their own doubts about religion forced onto them. Was the world Erwin was talking about actually coming?

Levi was aware that he was still a wanted criminal. With the change in power and the possible changes in the society that were bound to follow though, he deemed the risk of entering the country in his current state worth taking.

He decided to go home.

                                      Trials and Tributes

“I knew you’d be back.” Erwin broke the silence in the room.

Levi had entered the city quietly many times before and had managed to avoid attention from many of its inhabitants. He never did figure out whether it was because everyone had forgotten the face of the rogue soldier from the incident a decade ago or because he had just assimilated into the crowds too well.

He had entered Erwin’s office through the window his superior had always left open, intending to wait for the right moment to speak. It turned out Erwin had noticed him first, even behind the shadows.

“How long has it been?” Levi asked. It was just like Erwin to keep a close eye on the shadows.

“Ten years since we last met. Two years since the Reiss family took the throne.” Erwin answered. Two answers for one question.

The journey back to the capital had taken Levi a few weeks give or take. He had lost count of the days, having been too focused on getting back as soon as he could while avoiding attention. “Has anything changed since then?” Levi asked. He knew two years was a long time, enough for some major changes to happen.

“We haven’t had witch trials in years. The nobles and the church had been too busy fighting. But the Reiss family is working to ban witch trials completely. They have plans of drafting a magna carta based on those created by the countries down south so it looks like we might actually be transitioning into a new era.”

“That’s good.” There was not much to say. He knew at least that those two words were genuine.

“I’m surprised you haven’t asked about her yet.”

When Erwin had pointed it out, Levi became a little more self aware and consequently, surprised that she hadn’t been the first thing he had asked about. Maybe he had just been a little too surprised at how the city had changed. It had become a little cleaner. It harbored an atmosphere of hope more than an atmosphere of fear. When he first entered Erwin’s room, he had also noticed there were two new bookshelves filled to the brim with books. His desk and chair were both gone and in that corner, a cupboard lay instead. As Levi figured out soon enough, it was filled with books and documents as well.

For a second, he might have forgotten about her. Or maybe he hadn’t. As he further reflected on his thoughts, he realized he was thinking about her. His thoughts of her lay in the hope that had bubbled through him as he navigated his way through the city. That subtle reminder that she probably would have enjoyed the conversations he had overheard among the townspeople --- political speculations and the occasional scientific speculations on strategic farming methods and healing methods. He had allowed himself a few seconds to consider as well the coming of a new era, an age where people like Hange could thrive. And possibly that was what had led to that instinctive first question.

“She must be alive then if you’re so eager to talk about her.” Is she alive? Levi had phrased his question as a statement, as if it could erase all doubts that she could have died in his ten years away from home.

“We keep in touch. Sometimes she visits.”

Levi needed a second to recover from that strong wave of relief that rushed through him. He only noticed his hand was shaking when he brought it up to his eyes to catch any tears that might make their way out he tried to bite them all back. Erwin did not comment on that at least.

“You should go see her. She asks about you every time.”

“What do you say when she asks?”

Erwin shook his head. “I didn’t know where you were. What else could I say? I think she’s sharp enough to tell though that you were the witch--- the rogue soldier everyone was talking about.”

“Do people still talk about it? The incident ten years ago? The rogue soldier?”

Erwin shook his head. “With your actions, all you’ve done is make the usurpation of the throne possible. I don’t think anyone is in a hurry to arrest you now.” He gave Levi a wry smile. “Maybe they’ll even treat you to dinner.”

It was an attempt at humor. Both men silently agreed that the best option would still be to remain low key. Even if Levi weren’t a witch, he was still a murderer after all.

In the end he didn’t mind. It felt like he had lived a lifetime already in those past twenty years. He was raring to see Hange. As he rode up north though, he made no deliberate effort to go faster.

Seeing the familiar landscape along the familiar road to his hometown was a constant reminder that he was on his way home. His body had probably taken that as a sign to prepare him for rest and twenty years worth of aches and fatigue made itself known to him gradually over the long ride.

It was only through those discomforts did he realize he never did have a place to call home the past ten years, having taken odd jobs, having jumped from inn to inn and pub to pub.

The forest where the old cabin he grew up in was on the way to the village and just like always, a five minute ride away, he was sure he would find Hange’s old cabin-turned-apothecary. His cabin stood a little older than the trees around it. Levi had to note that the green that surrounded the cabin, framing it as if it were only a painting, were as green and as fresh as they looked decades ago.

Nature is timeless. Levi found himself admiring it while reminiscing about his childhood. The trees around him and the grass below served as a time capsule.

And it was a time capsule he was eager to open. He dismounted his horse, wanting to feel the grass beneath him as he walked.

He closed his eyes as he walked. With that, he was able to pretend he was a kid again, practicing the art of sneaking while Kenny was away. He let out a quiet laugh in the form of a playful smile and a tiny exhale as he imagined how he had been much noisier as he moved through the taller grass years ago.

Oh, how times have changed. A mocking comment aimed towards the younger self that resided within him.

The large field of grass he silently navigated through should have led to the beginnings of Hange's herb garden. The long weeds around him though opened up to a large tract of land of only bare soil.

That was what snapped Levi out of his trance. For a second, he had assumed that he had taken the wrong path. He wished that were the reason. He was about to look back and retrace his steps when he noticed the cabin at the end of the yards of bare soil in front of him.

Hange’s cabin. With that, he was pulled further and further out of his daydream and into the reality in front of him. He wasn't a kid. In fact, he was already a good number of years past thirty.

It's been 20 years. Of course the world would have changed. He at least attempted to reassure himself. Words were far from reassuring though, overshadowed by the fact that the cabin in front of him looked abandoned, the fields around him bare.

He could have sworn there were rows and rows of herbs there only a decade before. He left his horse out and rushed into the cabin. The dark was easily broken open. In fact as he had pushed it in, it fell out of its hinges.

Hange would have gotten mad if she were here.

If she still lived here. The beds, the table and the kitchen were just like he had last seen it years ago. In fact, they looked to be in a worse state. Levi felt his heart drop as he saw them abandoned and worn. It was impossible to reminisce given the state of the cabin. Or maybe it was impossible because of the state of his mind then. His mind was grappling for answers.

He found lightly jumping on the stool, ignoring the creaks of protest from the chair below him, surveying the contents of all the dilapidated shelves around the room. They were all empty from top to bottom.

“Where’s Hange?” He had said it aloud. A part of him somehow believed someone would answer yet all he received in return were weak echoes.

Erwin did not give him an exact address when Levi had met him in the capital. He had mentioned sending the letters to the post office on the square was more than enough. A messenger would send it to Hange and Erwin still got his replies. Hange was always the one who visited the capital so there was never any need to know her exact address.

There was another question Levi should have asked though. How long had it been since Erwin had last talked to her?

Levi ended up scolding himself for not even asking such an important question. He mounted his horse and galloped towards the direction of the village. His body continued to protest the rough movements of the gallop on his battered body since he had been riding for a lot more than a day already.

He treated the pain and a discomfort though as a punishment. A punishment for so carelessly assuming she would be okay.

His next stop was the center of town, or maybe the pub. Like always, that was the best place to get questions answered. Levi rode quickly, ignoring the houses that dotted the fields that only became more and more frequent as he followed the path.

There were more houses than before. There were more children playing outside. He could hear it in the laughters and the voices that somehow made their way to his ears despite the loud galloping from underneath him. He chose to ignore all of them.

Only one thing would make him stop. Only Hange.

Or any sign at least to where she might be. And as he neared the village, the sign made itself known as the distinct scent that carried too many memories.

Levi had the nose for it. He had smelled it too many times to know. If he had been a little more eloquent, maybe he would have even been able to recount the journey it made, recount the way his mind processed the scent from the fruits to the flowers then to the cold wind that rushed up his nose despite it being a warm afternoon.

It only got stronger and stronger as he followed the path. He quickened his pace further until he reached the center of town where it was impossible to gallop without risking running someone over.

Somehow, the scent remained unyielding, despite the other stimuli threatening to overshadow it. As he rode through town, he kept his head down, relying instead on the cobblestone streets to lead him to the right direction. He could hear multiple conversations at once, not bothering to make sense of them. He stayed focused on the scent.

His other senses only got stronger as the scent got stronger though. Levi soon realized he was just getting more alert for any signs of where it was and how it would manifest itself then.

“Can you show me your magic again?”

“It’s not magic Anna... It’s just nature.”

"Show me your nature trick then!"

"Fine, let's go back to the house. Not here where it's too crowded."

He was hearing a hundred conversations at once but somehow, that conversation stood out. He had instinctively looked toward the general direction where he had heard them. It had taken him a few minutes to follow the voices, having kept a record of it engraved in his head. He recognized the voice and he found himself repeating that last sentence in his head as he scanned the crowd of people.

Levi though had instinctively settled for looking through the areas with larger crowds of people towards the center of town and maybe the main square. If he had been sharper about it, he probably would have traced the conversation to the garden on the little corner, at the back of what used to be the pub.

He had ended up wasting an hour more than necessary, the voice and the conversation long gone from his mind. He settled for going to the pub, or at least where he remembered it to be.

The pub of decades ago was replaced by a quaint house which could have been owned by anyone. It could have been from a sense of duty or a bout of nostalgia but somehow, Levi felt the need to investigate. He followed the narrow road which would lead him to the back of the pub, further spurred on by the scent that resurfaced as he got further away from the bustle of the town center.  The narrow road opened up to green fields and as Levi soon realized, that green field was an the herb garden stretched for yards or maybe even hectares, much bigger than what he had stumble upon so many years ago. He had to note that the herbs had dividers. An oddly calming improvement.

“Watch.”

He turned around instinctively at the gasps of surprise. Hange was there and just like the many years ago, her hand was on fire.

Her hand was on fire. He would have panicked, if he didn’t see the way she had playfully smiled at the kids.

“Don’t try this at home.”

“But how did you do it?” One of the kids asked.

“I showed you before right? If you try to mix the oil and the water, the oil rises to the top. If I wet my hand like this…” She dipped her hand in a bowl and put it over the flame of the candle. “I can hold the fire.”

“Why isn’t it hot?”

“The water cools my skin and the fire has to make the oil evaporate before it reaches the water.”

“Can I try?” One of the children attempted to dip her hand into the mixture.

“No, not yet. You might get burned. I got burned the first time I tried it.”

That same child pouted then sighed in disappointment. “Can you do it again?”

Levi watched silently as she did the trick again. That same trick from ten years ago. She played with the flame of her hand, holding it like a pet the same way she had done ten years ago. and somehow, Levi realized her eerie smile then was the same smile she was giving the children then.

He had the luxury of time to observe her closely and carefully and as he realized soon enough, her smile was far from creepy. In fact, the smile she gave them was complemented by her eyes which held the same wonder he had seen them hold so many times before.

He could have sat on his horse all day just watching. In fact, he wanted to. He was also in too much pain to have been able to move from his spot.

The scent that wafted through the air was strong. Levi was very much certain then that it was that same scent he had been following the past few hours

Following the scent had only brought him back to her.

He didn’t know how long he had been sitting on the horse. Eventually though, Hange did notice he was there. He relished everything from the look of surprise she had given as she made eye contact with him, the way she would shake her head, look away then look back at him and the fact she had repeated that a comical number of times.

Levi couldn’t help but smile. He had done the same thing so many times before when faced with his own mirages, his own tricks of the eye fueled by the longing that had plagued him during his time in the south. He had seen too many tall brunettes that could have just been Hange if he didn’t look too closely.

Finally, when she was satisfied with the amount of times she had blinked and shook her head, she stood up from her stool and walked towards him.

“You can get off your horse now.”

It turned out all he needed to lose his inhibitions and collapse in exhaustion was any sign that she was near. Her voice and her touch were more than enough. He closed his eyes as he felt her arms around her.

I’m home. I can rest. How long since he had felt that?

Teacher, who’s that?

An old friend.

Really? Why are you blushing?

He awoke again to that same scent. It wafted through the air but at the same time he could feel it as a cool wind soothing his aching joints. He couldn't help but be grateful that the ache had dulled though and as he took stock of the scents and the feelings on his joints, he started to understand why.

"You didn't really catch a rest huh? How long have you been on your horse?" Hange’s voice was distant.

As he looked to his side, he saw Hange on her work bench, looking focused on something. "Didn't count..." He answered.

She stood up from her place on the bench and settled on a chair by his bedside. “It's morning now. You slept for more than half a day."

“Maybe I did see the sun set then rise a few times,” Levi admitted. "The oil you were burning then, that’s the same thing you put on me?” He asked in an attempt to digress.

Hange nodded. "I use it a lot now,” she said.

"Why?"

"It’s useful....It makes a good fire and it smells so good I think of you." A second later, Hange blushed and looked away, possibly at the realization of what she had just said. “I mean I made it for you of course I’d think of you.”

Levi reached for her hand and lightly pulled it towards himself, willing her to look at him again. "I like the smell. Actually, I liked it so much I followed it here and it brought me to you." That was something he probably would have regretted saying any other day. At that moment though, his only goal was to placate the already flustered Hange in front of him.

His attempt looked to be somewhat successful. She still seemed a little unsure but the toothy grin she gave him was an improvement at least. "I told you before, don't underestimate your sense of smell." Hange leaned over on the bed next to him and with that the scent only got stronger.

With that, their faces were only a few inches away from each other and Levi suddenly felt the need to cover that small distance. His neck was protesting that action though. It turned out his body still ached from his long journey.

"So I guess it was a good idea that I burned the oil every night.” Hange chuckled. “It was a long shot but I thought maybe you'd recognize it."

"You assumed I’d be back?”

“I had faith we’d meet again.” As she said it Hange covered that distance and their two lips met in one natural yet magical kiss. So magical that Levi felt it consume him, and warm him up from his lips to the tips of his toes. It tickled his throat and as he pulled away, he ended up letting out that deep breath he didn’t even know he was holding in.

All phenomena should have a scientific explanation. Hange has the analysis and deduction skills to figure them out.

Levi had wanted to ask here about it, about the way that kiss had shook him inside and out, leaving him giddy and almost shaking. He looked to her to see that she was also as surprised. She was blushing and not at all like she was in the mood to explain anything.

Or maybe she didn’t have an explanation for it. He thought as he saw the face she had made. Her eyes were wide and for a second, she was frozen on her spot before she quickly pulled away. Then it must be magic?

Logical reasoning brought him back to the conclusion that he had made so many times before. Maybe she is a witch.

Even if she were though, he didn’t care. That glimmer of magic he had felt at that moment would be his little secret.

Our little secret. Levi was quick to correct himself. He was sure she had felt it too after all.

[elsanna-shenanigans]

April Contest Submission #13: A Break From Normalcy

Words: ca. 5,000 Setting: mAU Lemon: no CW: Character death, grief, slight gay panic, minor language

Ever since her childhood, Elsa had been a girl of routine.

Whims were rare for the girl, and her actually following them was even more rare.

In elementary school, she packed the same thing for lunch every day, played on the same swing every day at recess, and wore her hair the same way every morning.

This continued throughout her life. She woke up at 6:15 in the morning, every morning, without an alarm. She ate the same chocolate cereal for breakfast every morning at 6:25 before taking her shower at 6:40.

At 7:00 on the dot, she was always starting her car to go to school. She took a less busy back street to avoid traffic and usually arrived at school at 7:15, give or take three minutes.

She then proceeded to read whatever book had caught her fancy that day until 7:55, at which point she made her way to class, five minutes early. She left school at exactly 3:15 each day, just after the rush of students eager to leave, and she arrived home by 3:30 typically.

When she got home, she would do homework and study until her parents got home at 5:30, though they often fluctuated more than her with their schedules.

She then had dinner with them at 6:30 and played whatever video game caught her fancy at the time or practiced any skills she was learning outside of school.

Then, at last, she was in bed by 9:00.

This routine carried her through high school, and during the summer following her high school graduation she only modified it a little to fit a part time job into her schedule.

Then, she started college.

She watched around her as the other students at Arendelle University seemed more and more broken as the semester dragged on. The bags under their eyes darkened and their grades declined.

Meanwhile, Elsa thrived. A lifetime of setting schedules and deadlines for herself had prepared her for this. Her assignments were always submitted on time, she was always well rested, and her grades were fantastic.

This continued until her senior year when she had a sudden whim to check out a new coffee shop. Whims were rare for her. She was usually strict with her adherence to her schedule, and she normally squashed any whims before she even considered them. However, this whim seemed harmless enough, as she could easily incorporate it into her schedule.

This whim, however, was the first whim that would change her life.

She liked her routine well enough, but sometimes a little break was needed from normalcy.

She usually went to a less busy place for a coffee every day at 10:00 and then worked on her homework at home until 11:30, but now she found herself at a different, busy place, Der Kaffeehausen, each day at 10:15, and instead of going home to do her work, she found herself settling into the table with a broken booth at the coffee shop.

Der Kaffeehausen itself was far different than the old place she frequented. There was live music almost all the time. The crowds were loud. The menu changed up each day. However, within the chaos there was order.

The same barista worked every weekday, which fit Elsa’s school schedule of Monday, Wednesday and Friday well. This meant her coffee, a medium iced mocha coffee with light cream and Splenda, was exactly the same every time she got it.

She also got the same table every day since the booth was broken, so she could count on having her spot whenever she came.

It was about a week into the semester when Elsa met Anna. Well, she didn’t really meet Anna. She overheard the girl from the next table over while she was writing an essay on Joan of Arc.

“Hey, yeah, it’s Anna. Loving college so far, just thought I’d let you know how it’s going. There’s this guy who-“ Elsa heard the girl speaking into her phone.

She didn’t catch the rest of the conversation. Not because eavesdropping was rude, but mostly because the redhead’s name sounded pleasant and that was what stuck with her.

Every weekday after that, Anna became part of her routine, even though the two had never spoken. Anna would show up within five minutes of Elsa’s own arrival. While Elsa would get her coffee and get straight to work, Anna’s routine, or lack thereof, was far less refined.

One day she would loudly slurp a massive bowl of soup and then take a nap in the booth. The next she would do homework of her own. The following day she might play Pokémon on her Nintendo Switch, loudly whooping when she caught a rare Pokémon or won a battle. She was predictable in her unpredictability, Elsa realized.

There was one thing, however, that she noticed Anna did every single day. The phone call. Some days it lasted maybe a minute. Others it lasted almost an hour, but Anna always called someone – the same person each day, Elsa theorized.

She learned that Anna tended to ramble when she talked, and the phone conversations sounded very one sided. It almost sounded like Anna was writing a diary out loud.

Eventually Elsa found herself getting absorbed into Anna’s conversations herself. She usually snapped out of it quickly enough, however. She had work to do, after all. A routine to keep.

-.-.-.-.-

It was October when her routine was once again shaken, but unlike last time, this time it wasn’t her own doing. She was sitting in her normal spot, laptop open as she typed and with a textbook balanced on her lap. Anna was strangely absent, a middle aged couple at the redhead’s usual table.

Elsa’s fingers clicked and clacked, but part of her still felt something was missing without Anna. It was a weird feeling, especially since the two had never even spoken.

That was why she was so surprised at the voice to her right that morning.

“Excuse me,” Anna’s voice muttered sheepishly. Elsa turned up and smiled a little.

“Hi,” she returned.

Anna looked around a bit before gesturing to herself. She then asked, “Hi, me?”

Elsa had to force herself not to giggle.

“Right, me. Who else would you be talking to? You don’t usually talk to many people here,” Anna carried on, “which is okay! Doing your own thing is totally fine, sometimes I just want to be left alone too. I totally get it.”

Elsa waited patiently as the redhead made her point. Truthfully, she had only really heard Anna talk during the phone calls, so to have her voice directed at Elsa was a treat.

“But anyway, uh, I meant to ask if there’s room for one more at your booth? Mine’s kind of taken,” Anna finished with a gesture to the middle aged couple.

It took Elsa a moment to realize the girl was done. It took her a bit longer to realize what Anna had even said. This wasn’t only the first time Elsa had talked to Anna. It was also the first time she looked into the girl’s eyes, and they were beautiful. The teal perfectly complemented her copper hair. She cleared her throat and answered, hoping she wasn’t blushing.

“Of course,” she said, smile still on her face, “The booth is broken a bit on the end, but you’re welcome to join me.”

The relief on Anna’s face was surprising. Was she a person of routine too?

“Thank you! I didn’t want to bother you because you always look so busy. I know that I can be a distraction,” Anna said self deprecatingly.

“No, no, it’s fine,” Elsa assured her, as she settled into Elsa’s booth. The end of the booth was broken, of course, so Anna ended up fairly close to Elsa, but she could handle it. She was a routine-oriented person, not a completely antisocial person.

They settled into a comfortable silence as Elsa continued working on her homework about William of Normandy. Anna, for her part, just rummaged through her bag and then played Pokémon. This lasted until Elsa had to leave to keep her routine. Strangely, at 11:30, she found herself not quite wanting to leave.

It wasn’t that the two had spoken or formed some kind of bond, but Elsa had enjoyed just being in Anna’s presence. However, something felt off about their hour together. Something felt wrong. Elsa had never once really deviated from her routine, but this was the feeling she thought she’d have if she ever did.

It took a few more days of Anna sitting with her in silence to realize what made her feel so anxious.

“Anna…?” she mumbled one day. She didn’t think about the fact that the two hadn’t even introduced themselves and she had no logical reason to know this girl’s name.

“Hmm?”

Anna didn’t even seem a little suspicious at Elsa knowing her name.

“I know what it’s like to have a routine. If you need to make your phone call, I won’t listen in on it,” Elsa said with a gentle smile.

Anna smiled back at her and, surprising her, pulled her into a hug. It was quick, but when it was over, Elsa instantly missed the warmth it provided.

“Thank you,” Anna said with red cheeks, “I just didn’t want to bother you. I know you’re always super busy, and your work is probably way harder than mine. I mean, I’m just a freshman, but you’re like, a senior.”

“No,” Elsa reassured her, “Mr. Weselton’s class is boring, but it’s really easy.”

“Wow,” Anna said as she removed her phone from her satchel, “You must be some kind of genius. I’m in his Historical Perspectives class and I can’t keep up.”

The compliment made Elsa blush even more, so she just made a noncommittal ‘hmm’ and returned to her work so that Anna could make the call.

She noted, as usual, that it sounded as if the conversation was very one sided, but she didn’t pry. She kept typing, pausing only to reference her textbook. When 11:30 rolled around, she packed her things, waved to Anna, and mouthed a silent ‘bye.’

The little wave and smile Anna gave her stuck with her for the rest of the day.

-.-.-.-.-.-

It was ten days until Christmas at Arendelle University, and Elsa was still surprised at how empty Der Kaffeehausen was.

The semester ended on December 14th and resumed on January 3rd, so she knew logically that the campus would be empty, but it was still unnerving being the only customer in the whole place. There was a pianist playing at the piano on stage, but it wasn’t the usual jaunty stuff one would expect here. Likewise, there were only two baristas. Thankfully her favorite was still there.

She felt a little strange going to the broken booth when the entire lobby was empty of people. She didn’t even have homework, but her routine was so ingrained in her that she couldn’t quite bring herself to make the drive home to her family, even for Christmas.

She opened a blank word document, due to muscle memory more than anything else, and tried to find some sort of inspiration to type something. Her mind was drawing a blank. She blamed her lack of homework between semesters, but she knew the truth.

Anna had become part of her routine. The two barely really spoke, and they certainly didn’t know each other well. Had she even told Anna her name?

Regardless, whether Anna was sitting at the next booth over, or playing Pokémon in the same booth as Elsa, Elsa was accustomed to the redhead. She now felt the way she would feel if she were to ever sleep in past 6:15, or go to another different coffee shop. It was a feeling that things were just barely off, and it made her uncomfortable.

“Hi,” Anna’s voice pulled her from her thoughts. Elsa looked up to her and smiled.

“Hi, me?” she asked teasingly.

“Well, you never told me your name, so I didn’t know how else to say ‘hi’,” Anna said with her own teasing grin, sliding easily into the broken booth beside Elsa.

“Didn’t I?” Elsa asked, feigning obliviousness, “I’m pretty sure I did. Maybe you have a poor memory.”

Anna pretended to take offense at that, gasping comically loudly.

“Why, I never! Who could possibly forget your name?” she asked with her usual smile.

Elsa giggled, “You’d be surprised. I’d say if college had superlatives, I’d be voted ‘most forgettable.’”

“Well I could never forget you,” Anna mumbled stubbornly. Elsa blushed and returned to her work – oh. Right. No work. No excuse.

“Thanks,” she muttered shyly.

To her surprise Anna scooted far closer than usual to her in the booth and peeked at the blank word document.

“I was wondering what you were working on during Christmas break,” she said with a tone filled with satisfaction at having her questions answered.

“Uh, yeah, I just don’t like going home for holidays,” Elsa told a half truth, “What about you?”

“Oh, I don’t have much reason to go home either,” she answered, but her voice wasn’t quite as bright as it normally was. Elsa could feel some kind of unspoken tension in the air.

That was when Elsa had the second big whim that would change her life.

“I hear there’s a beautiful lake on the other side of campus. Would you like to go?” she asked hesitantly, not really sure why Anna’s answer was so important to her.

“Really?” Anna asked with a tilt of her head, “I thought you don’t like going outside? That you like, have a thing about dirt or something?”

Elsa laughed at the misunderstanding, not even realizing she was leaning very close to Anna. By the time she realized that their shoulders were touching, she didn’t have it in her to be embarrassed.

“No, you dork,” she teased, “I just like keeping a routine.”

Anna was blushing as she playfully shoved her. She was thankful that they were alone in there, because she was sure their giggles would disturb other customers.

“Well, yes, then. Let’s go see this lake of yours.”

Elsa stood and packed her laptop into her bag, carefully grabbing her coffee in her other hand.

“Well, do you want to drive or walk?”

“I’d say walk. I don’t like cars that much,” Anna mumbled the last bit before teasingly perking up, “Besides. I still don’t know your name, and I’m not in the mood to be kidnapped.”

Elsa jokingly snapped her fingers as the two made for the exit.

“Darn! You’re onto me,” she bantered. With a chuckle she said, “It’s Elsa, by the way.”

Anna said her name out loud a few times as if testing it.

“Such a pretty name,” she marveled, walking through the door Elsa was holding for her, “And such manners! My poor heart can’t take much more of this.”

Elsa was caught between a blush and a giggle. She was aware this was the first conversation the two had really had, but there was something about Anna that was so contagious.

“Shush, you dork,” she said with a smile.

The two walked through the deserted campus, making small talk and occasionally throwing snowballs at each other.

Elsa was surprised to find that she was having fun. She didn’t have the usual headache that accompanied deviations from her routine. She was happy and even laughing.

When the two reached the lake, Elsa wasn’t surprised to see that it was frozen solid. It was very cold outside, after all. It was actually pretty beautiful. She’d never been to the lake, for obvious reasons, so this wasn’t a bad way to see it for the first time.

“It’s so pretty,” Anna said with wide eyes.

“Yeah, it is,” Elsa agreed as she led them to a nearby bench, “I’ve never actually been here.”

“Really?” Anna asked, “How’d you know about it then?”

“My parents made me memorize a map of campus before I moved here.”

“Tell me about them?”

Elsa wasn’t sure why that sounded like a question, but something about it sounded so vulnerable.

“My parents?”

“Yeah, I’d love to know more about Mr. and Mrs. Elsa,” Anna joked, kicking her feet in the snow.

“Ah, yes. My father, Mr. Elsa. He’s great fun at parties,” Elsa teased.

“You know what I mean, you stinker.”

“Well, what do you want to know?” she asked, turning to look at Anna. Anna turned to her and returned the eye contact.

“Anything?”

“Well, they loved me. They were always strict, but in a protective way, I guess?”

“Like the map thing?” Anna offered.

“Like the map thing,“ Elsa nodded, “And they always prepared me for a quality education. It’s why I have my routine.”

“And how does that work?”

“I like to do the same things at the same time each day. It helps me stay organized. And it helps me keep my focus, I think.”

“Oh. So trips like this aren’t usually your thing.”

“Not usually.”

There was a comfortable silence as a dog ran by and rolled in the snow. Elsa half-expected Anna to chase it to pet the cute little thing, but to her surprise, the girl stayed seated.

“Thank you,” Anna said quietly.

“For what?”

“This was my first Christmas without my parents,” she said with a sad smile, “You’re the first real friend I’ve met here at Arendelle U, and I know this wasn’t easy for you, but I was so afraid I’d have to spend Christmas break completely alone.”

Elsa was floored. Anna was such a bright person. She lit everything up around her with her playfulness, her joy, and her general upbeat attitude. To hear such a sobering seriousness from the girl was like a punch to the gut.

“When you say, ‘the first Christmas without your parents,’ do you mean…?”

“My parents died this July in a car crash,” Anna said, almost mechanically. It was like she was reading a paragraph from a book.

“I’m so sorry, Anna. I had no idea,” Elsa said, looking down at the ground between them. She didn’t know what to say, but she so desperately wanted to comfort this girl.

All she could do was scoot closer to Anna and provide a shoulder if she needed it.

Anna graciously accepted it, laying her head on the arm, which was thankfully nice and fluffy due to Elsa’s winter coat.

“I never said anything. I’m just thankful to have someone to spend Christmas with. I knew I could count on you to be in our spot.”

Our spot? Elsa smiled inwardly at the thought that, not only had she made a friend, but she and that friend had their own little thing they could share. Sure, it was just an old broken booth in a coffee shop, but it was theirs.

The pair spent the rest of that day together at that frozen lake, only leaving when interrupted by their empty bellies and the freezing cold.

-.-.-.-.-.-

It was Valentine’s Day when Elsa made a startling discovery about herself.

She stared into the bathroom mirror after her 6:40 shower, but only for a moment. She couldn’t be late.

Her little epiphany wasn’t her fault. It was because of Anna, her newfound best friend. The girl who had piggybacked onto Elsa’s coffee shop routine and become a key part of her life. The girl who had lost her parents just before starting university, leading her to latch emotionally onto Elsa. The girl who, three days ago, on February 11th, had jokingly suggested that Elsa be her Valentine’s Day date.

It had been such a simple throwaway comment from Anna.

‘Since we’re both single, we might as well be each other’s date,’ she had said with a chuckle.

Elsa had fought the blush as best she could. Thankfully it was time for her to leave per her schedule, so she managed to escape the embarrassment she felt. It was also a Friday, so she had the entire weekend to sort through her feelings.

After a weekend of introspection, World of Warcraft, and homework, Elsa came to one conclusion:

“Fuck. I’m so gay.”

She realized, in hindsight, that it should have been obvious to her. She never pined after any men. She found herself admiring the female form (objectively, she always told herself), and the only times she had gotten flustered around others were around girls.

She found herself poring through her every memory as she drove to class. She re-examined every female she had known in school, as well as every male, hoping for some clear indication of any crushes she may have had. She just wanted to understand herself. It was terrifying to not understand her own sexuality and it felt like everything she knew had a different meaning now.

At 10:24, she pulled into Der Kaffeehausen, absentmindedly ordering her drink, thanking her favorite barista, and walked to her normal booth. For what had to be the first time, Anna was there before her, watching her with a smug expression and her feet propped onto Elsa’s spot on the bench.

“You’re late, I was getting worried,” Anna teased. When she noticed Elsa’s serious expression and absentminded demeanor, however, she sat up and shifted to a worried look, “Oh no. Are you okay? Did something happen?”

Elsa wordlessly sat beside Anna, wincing internally as the girl wrapped an arm around her. Her shoulder that Anna’s hand was resting on felt burning hot and every touch from Anna had a new meaning now in her head. She tried to speak but couldn’t find the words.

What would Anna think? Would she be disgusted? Would it make things awkward? Elsa loved their friendship, and she really didn’t want to lose it. Maybe she should just not tell Anna about her discovery?

Then she saw the adoration in Anna’s eyes and the decision was made for her. She took a deep breath.

“Anna, I think I’m gay,” she said with a confidence she didn’t feel.

Anna’s eyes widened a bit, but then her playful smile returned. With a fake haughty aura about her, she said in her most elegant voice, “Ah. So you’ve fallen for my seductive charm. I’m aware of the effect I have on women.”

Elsa just stared, jaw open.

“You absolute dork,” she said as a laugh bubbled up from her belly, “I’m coming out to you and you make an Office reference?”

Anna raised her hands in a placating gesture, “I just wanted to make it clear that I accept you for who you are, and I just assumed the best way would be to tease you like normal.”

Anna’s face fell for a moment.

“Oh wait! I wasn’t like trying to downplay your coming out! I just wanted you to know that I still like being around you. I mean, of course I do. Who wouldn’t like being around you? You’re beautiful and kind and super organized - it’s really inspiring, to be honest. Wait. Sorry, I’m rambling.”

“It’s okay, Anna, really. It’s one of the things I love about you,” Elsa said with a smile, blushing as she realized her own choice of words.

“Ah-hah! Love! Right, cause it’s Valentine’s Day!”

Anna was digging through her satchel and Elsa watched curiously.

“Since you’re my Valentine and all,” Anna began, finally finding a small box in her satchel and holding it up triumphantly, “and you’ve so clearly fallen for my feminine wiles.”

“I have not,” Elsa lied but Anna ignored her, holding the small box out to her.

“I got these for us,” Anna continued, unbothered by Elsa’s denial. Elsa tentatively grabbed the box and looked to Anna. With an eager look, Anna urged her on, “Come on! Open it!”

Elsa tentatively opened the small jewelry box and gasped at what was inside. It was a beautiful silver chain, on which a simple snowflake locket hung. With a delicate touch, Elsa grabbed the locket and opened it. Inside was a selfie the two had taken on their day at the frozen lake back at Christmas. Elsa instinctive held the locket to her heart before pushing it back to Anna.

“Anna, this is beautiful but I can’t accept this. It’s too much.”

Anna shrugged and refused to take the jewelry back.

“If you don’t take it, we won’t match,” Anna argued, reaching into her shirt and pulling out a matching locket with gold instead of silver, “Besides, it wasn’t expensive or anything. I just saw the snowflake and thought of you, you know, because of our little snow day back in December. Crazy how it’s been two months since then!”

Elsa reluctantly held the chain around her neck and blushed as she turned away, asking, “Can you clasp it for me, then?”

She felt the slight click of the hook fastening to the chain and turned to Anna, “H-how do I look?”

“You’ve always been beautiful, but now you look beautifuller, if that’s even possible. Er, not fuller. More beautiful.”

“Seriously, though, thank you for everything,” Elsa whispered, “You accepted my being gay, you accepted my weird habits when it comes to my routine, and you’ve always been so kind to me.”

“I should be thanking you, Elsa,” Anna said with a smile, “After my parents died, I couldn’t cope with it. We were always inseparable and then I was just, well, alone. I tried to cope by calling their phones, kind of like a journal, you know? It was almost like I was talking to them. But then I met you, and you’ve been there for me.”

Elsa pulled Anna into a hug.

It was then that she was hit by the third big, life-changing whim of her life.

“Let’s go on a date,” Elsa said as she stood extending a hand to Anna, who watched with wide eyes.

“Like, a date-date?”

Elsa nodded.

“Right now?”

Elsa nodded again, blushing furiously. Was she rushing things? Maybe. But she knew by now that the rare whims she had were best off not being ignored.

“But, your schedule-“ Anna began, taking Elsa’s hand anyway.

“It’s okay. I think this is more important.”

Anna stood beside Elsa, their hands still clasped together gently. Anna said with a happy smile, “Let’s go, then.”

And they did.

-.-.-.-.-

Ever since her childhood, Elsa had been a girl of routine.

Whims were rare for the girl, and her actually following them were even more rare.

Anna knew this, and she still cared for Elsa. That didn’t mean she couldn’t pull the blonde out of her self-imposed rut every now and again.

With a content sigh, she laid back onto the soft grass.

“This place looks a lot different in Summer,” Anna noted.

Elsa grinned as she turned to look at her girlfriend.

“It’s not the same without the snow and ice,” she agreed, “but the bright sun and the grass really bring out your eyes.”

“I know what you mean. Your eyes were dazzling in the snow when we came here in the winter,” Anna nodded as as she rolled onto her side to cuddle with Elsa. She welcomed the warmth of Elsa’s boob-pillow as she felt an arm wrap around her shoulder. This was the life.

It was late July, and she would start the new semester soon. She would be a senior, like Elsa was when they met. But until then, she was content to enjoy these lazy summer days. When Elsa didn’t have to work, at least.

She was just glad that Elsa wasn’t a strict on herself with her routine anymore. If she was, they could never spend hours just lying in the grass together. It made all the itchiness that would come later worth it.

“This is great,” she said with a yawn.

“Anna?” Elsa asked.

“Hmm?”

“Remember that locket you gave me?” Elsa asked, squirming a bit under Anna. She sounded nervous.

Anna fished hers out of her baggy t-shirt and held it up in front of them, “Yep. Still wear it.”

Elsa chuckled, and Anna recognized the same nervousness from the time she had come out to Anna. Anna turned to look into Elsa’s eyes.

“Are you okay? You’re not going to tell me you’re pregnant or something, are you?” Anna tried to joke.

“No, no, it’s nothing like that,” Elsa said in a slightly more confident manner, “It’s just that I never got a chance to pay you back for that.”

Pay her back…? Anna was confused, but it sounded like Elsa was struggling to find her words, so she was patient.

“So I, well, I got you a gift,” Elsa said with a deep blush as she looked away and handed Anna a small jewelry box. She wasn’t usually this shy.

Anna smiled at her and pecked her on the lips. It was quick and it was chaste, but every time they kissed it still invigorated Anna.

“You didn’t have to do that, you stinker,” she said with a smile as she took the offered box, “but thank you.”

She could have sworn she heard Elsa mumble ‘don’t thank me yet,’ but she wasn’t sure. She just grabbed Elsa’s right hand with her left and used her right hand to slowly, and clumsily, open the jewelry box.

Her eyes widened.

“Holy fuck, is this what I think it is!?” she shouted a bit too excitedly, sitting up and avoiding the glares of the parents around her.

Elsa was sitting up beside her, but wasn’t quite looking at her. Anna felt her girlfriend nod beside her.

“It was, well, just a whim,” Elsa muttered sheepishly,“ and I’ve learned not to ignore those.”

Anna took out the shiny gold ring and stared in awe at the diamond. She held it up to the sun and had to squint to look at it.

“Jesus Elsa, I don’t know what to say,” she said excitedly.

“An answer would be a good start,” Elsa joked with a worried smile.

Anna kissed her again and pulled her into a tight hug. She met Elsa’s misty eyes with her own.

“Yes.”

[wanderer2somewhere]

Okay, holy shit, turns out there’s a lot of shit I’ve been missing.

All the stuff coming out related to Scott and his politics has been disappointing to say the least, especially having come out during Pride Month.

I have never really liked divulging any personal information about myself here, but I’m not exactly straight. Honestly, it felt like a part of me was ripped out. FNaF got me into writing, the thing I hope to turn into a career some day. I don’t post about it as much anymore, but I’m still deeply in love with this series.

I loved Scott as a creator. It honestly feels like I’m mourning a loss.

Even so, I believe Scott when he says he had no ill will. I sincerely do. For anyone who knows his history, his politics, though immensely disappointing, are not surprising.

And I have never gotten the impression he was anything less than just a guy trying to do the best with what he’s got. I genuinely believe he’s an overall good dude who’s misguided in his attempts to do what he thought was right at the time. And, in a lot of ways, I still really respect him.

I disagree with the people trying to make this into a black and white issue. It isn’t one. The issue may seem so clear cut, and the answers so obvious to us. But it often isn’t, not in the slightest.

And as disappointed as I am, I am utterly horrified by the harassment and death threats directed at Scott and his family. You can’t do that and then claim to be the good guys. If you in any way support this harassment, you can fuck right off my blog.

Call me a bootlicker or LGBT+ traitor as I’ve seen some people do on here and on Twitter. That’s fine.

Criticism and disappointment is understandable. But I will not ever support the harassment and death threats of anyone. Again, if you at all support any of that shit, kindly fuck off. You ain’t better than the people you’re harassing.

But, I think that’s all for my personal ramblings and nonsense on the matter. With the news of Scott’s retirement from game development and the series “changing hands” as it were, I can’t say that I’m considering dropping it. Not sure I would even if he wasn’t retiring.

As I said, this is a series that just makes me so happy to follow and theorize about. And regardless of my feelings on the people at the helm, I just can’t see that changing anytime soon.

Edit:

Sorry, popping in again! I always end up posting something and then immediately go “oh shit did I mention x” or “aw shit I should’ve phrased that differently.”

So just editing a bit to add that, to be clear, I’m not at all suggesting anyone’s wrong to be upset by the news. You’re not wrong for deciding that this makes you want to stop supporting a creator. Of course not.

What I’m trying to say is that being upset and disappointed is perfectly justified, but harassment and death threats never are, especially when you’re threats involve people totally unrelated to the issue (like seriously?? threatening his kids??).

And also, there’s no shame in wanting to continue to follow this series, to play the games, to keep theorizing. Don’t ever be ashamed of separating the creation from the creator.

As I said, I still respect Scott as a game developer, and I truly don’t believe he’s a terrible person who just hates POC and LGBT+ people. But his actions, regardless of intent, supported an organization that directly hurts us. And it’s fair to criticize him for that.

Just don’t send death threats to people over it.

[meimi-haneoka]

Hello again! I don’t honestly know why I keep sending questions anonymously, because I don’t feel like it’s necessary but I have a main blog and a side blog and the main one is so not relatable to anything fandom like and I can’t send asks from the side blog but oh well 😂

I wanted to tell you how much I enjoy reading your analysis and your responses and your rambles, and it really helps while waiting for new chapters. I also wanted to complain about the lack of announcement regarding the continuation of the anime and I don’t know literally anyone who is in this fandom, which makes it impossible to talk to anyone about any of this!

Also, do you have any theories or anything about what’s gonna happen next? And do you think they’ll be able to touch again before the end of this arc? I miss their hugs 🥺

Anyway, thank you for your time and thank you for your content! You’re the best!!!

Hello anon!! Don’t worry, it’s okay even like this, if you don’t feel like sending the ask with your main blog! <3 Thank you so much for your kind words, I’m really happy to know that my random rambles help people cope with the monthly release of the chapters, cause especially lately I have the feeling the fandom is particularly impatient (not saying that it’s not understandable, because it actually is).

I know, we’ve been waiting for that second season announcement for so long...it is unclear if the manga itself is starting to walk towards the climax or not, so we can’t even be certain the end is near (and so a possible announcement). We just have to have faith, is all I can say. Other Madhouse anime series got a new season after 6 years (Chihayafuru, and it’s pretty popular), so it’s not like we’re particularly late or something.

Hmmm, theories about what’s gonna happen next.... It’s honestly a bit difficult, like, I’ve been theorizing that Kaito (due to a very skewed view on the situation) wants to switch Sakura’s and Akiho’s lives, and many things are pointing in that direction, but I want to hold out a bit longer to see if CLAMP might surprise us once again (everyone is expecting THAT, at this point). In the immediate future at the botanical garden, Touya might recognize Kaito’s status as a magician or something, and even realize/feel that Mirror is with him. But I doubt at this point Kaito might let himself “unprotected” against one more “ally” of Sakura. If he can, he will shield himself, this is not the time of the meeting with Syaoran anymore. His time is up, he’s having strokes every 30 minutes and he hasn’t even started to get the card he needs yet. I can see the double date either go on peacefully (well with Sakura being quite distraught by her ominous feeling) or as soon as the girls go to the restroom, the boys will be at eachother’s throat. And then, maybe after another heart-to-heart talk, Akiho will go berserk once again, too. After all, Kaito’s seal wore off just a few days ago, he rewound time but it’s bound to expire soon once again. A set-up like this calls for climax, right? And yet, we have still not reached the play.  Am I saying that we might get *another* time rewind?

...... :)

[just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi]

Bad touch, Bad sounds - Nik

CW: Isolation, very, very brief mention of Self harm

Previous ~ Masterlist ~ Next

It would have been mercy, if his mind had snapped all at once. It would have been mercy, if his eyes unfocused all on their own. It would have been mercy, if he had simply woken up blank.

But there was no mercy here.

It had started with the boredom. Monotonous, endless, blank, boredom. Nik had never minded being alone before. Often the sun went down before he realized that he hadn’t spoken to another person the entire day. He was used to keeping himself occupied, just sitting and contemplating. History, tales, poetry, scenarios. He was used to it.

What he wasn’t used to was the lack of new. Everything was the same, nothing ever changed or evolved.

He couldn’t change or evolve.

He was stuck with the same knowledge he came with, he was stuck with the same viewpoints, same ideas, same opinions. There was no one there to discuss with, to banter with, to debate or theorize with. Nik would even accept an argument at this point. He was stuck with his own thoughts, and for the first time in his life, it felt like that wouldn’t be enough.

Same thoughts, same ideas. Repetitive. He tried to replay moments in his mind, recite facts and stories. He closed his eyes and visualized home, sitting with Kia in the treetops back when they were younger. Before they had to run.

“Oh, come on, you’re curious about everything! Why don’t you want to go down? I want to see what the forest floor is like, and I can’t believe that you don’t want to go!” Kia pouted. Nik sat on the edge of the platform, legs swinging over the side. He was looking out over the treetops, admiring the way the sun shone off the leaves. Kia stood next to him, hands on her hips.

Nik tsked lightly, only barely hiding a grin. “Curiosity for the sake of itself is dangerous, Kia. Curiosity for the sake of knowledge is something else. Besides, from all accounts it’s just not that interesting. Things fall when they die, ergo the forest floor is just full of dead things. There’s a few journals that mention it, if you would like to read them.” His voice was forcefully innocent, only slightly covering his mocking tone.

The sound Kia made was somewhere between a groan and a laugh.

“First of all, knock it off. I hate it when you use that tutor voice on me, and I know you do it just to bug me.” Nik turned and stuck out his tongue with a smirk, and she returned the gesture.

“Second, don’t you want, I don’t know, something different? Doesn’t this start to get old, all these branches and leaves looking the same?” She sat down next to him with a huff. He looked at her.

No, he didn’t really want anything different. He liked this.

“Honestly? I’m good. There’s always something to do, something new to try. I know you haven’t picked a trade yet, and that’s a good thing! You can try them all out, do everything. I wouldn’t be surprised if you picked up more than one, knowing you.” He bumped her shoulder lightly.

“And to answer your second question, no they don’t look the same. They’re all so different and unique. You see the way that that branch formed? The way it snakes around the other limbs? It’s an entirely different kind, using the other structure of the other tree to its own advantage, taking up its space in the sun. For a plant, that’s pretty ruthless. See, that tree is an aspen-“ Nik was cut off abruptly as Kia pushed him off the platform.

A quick flash of light, and he reflexively puts a shoe in one of the glowing foot holes. His fingers grabbed the wooden platform and he pulled himself back up easily. It wasn’t the first time Kia had pushed him off, or he had fallen, and it wouldn’t be his last.

“Hey! I was helping!” He laughed as he grabbed a handful of leaves and threw them in her face.

“No, you were rambling. I pity your future students.” Kia shook the leaves out of her hair and flicked one back at him. Nik clutched his chest in a mock gesture with a gasp. Kia laughed and moved to stand.

And glitched.

The gentle comfort of the memory was broken as the motion of her standing repeated over and over in his mind. He shook his head and tried to get control of his thoughts again. He opened and closed his eyes, but when he came back everything was still jumpy and disjointed.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. Moments like that happened more and more frequently. He couldn’t even hide in his mind anymore. Memories snapped back and forth, some feeling real and some feeling like a dream.

He rolled to the side on the cold stone ground. Cold. Cold was constant. Between the bits of numbness, pain, or unbearable heat, there would always be cold. He was so tired of being cold. Of being alone. Of even the cycle of his pain being boring to him.

He wanted to scream. He had, many times before. He would sit and scream until his voice gave out. At first it was invigorating. It felt rebellious; the sharp sound breaking up the silence. Until it wasn’t. Until it was just part of the routine. How? How did time steal even the defiance of screaming?

Nik was trapped, running through the same motions again and again. He had done anything and everything that he could think of. He had slept all day; he had stayed awake until exhaustion took him. He had sung and talked, he had spent days making no noise whatsoever. He had ignored his captor, had had tried to talk with him. He had fought, he had obeyed. He had even turned to the things he thought he would never do; biting his hands or pulling at his hair. Anything, just for some control.

For something different.

The only thing that he left was his mind, and even that was becoming useless. His thoughts switched between rapid and sluggish. Sometimes a thought would be there, right below the surface, but would flee like a startled bird when he tried to grab onto it. Whatever concept, whatever desire he had wanted to voice was gone with it; never to return.

Eventually, he just stopped thinking. The repetitive thoughts were almost worse, blankness being the better option. He would sit propped up against the wall and think of nothing.

He didn’t realize until later that even that was still active. It wasn’t until later that thinking of nothing was passive. It wasn’t until later that even trying to think repetitive thoughts was impossible, words no longer having any meaning.

Nothing. No meaning. No feelings. Nothing.

There were just sounds now. Good sounds and bad sounds. Good touch and bad touch. No smell, no taste, no sight. Just good sounds and bad sounds. Good touch and bad touch.

Too much bad. Too much bad touch. It hurt, and then came bad sounds. Bad sounds, bad touch, bad sounds, bad touch.

 Bad sound, bad touch.

~

 Sounds. Bad sounds, very bad sounds. Touch, sounds. Touch, but long. Hand? Carrying?

 Good touch. Soft. Nice.

 Bad, bad bad bad. Hurt hurt hurts. Bad sounds, very bad sounds. Hurts hurts hurts.

 Touch.

 Good touch? Soft again.

 He breathed. It was soft, he was warm. He was okay.

~

@ohmywhump @thehopelessopus  @luminouswhump @lonesome–hunter @pepperonyscience @insanitywishes

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